So it was Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ last day on Friday, and it was bittersweet — like bidding adieu to a fungal toenail you’ve had for two years. In a way, you miss it because it’s been there so long. But, really, in no way do you miss it. Not even a little.
I’d hoped she’d sink backwards into a hedge like Sean Spicer, but no. She’s actually proud of what she’s done.
Speaking of The Simpsons, I also kind of hoped she’d beam up to her home planet like Poochie when this day finally arrived, but that didn’t happen either. It appears Mother Earth actually spawned this heap of putrefying lies all by herself.
Sanders ultimately decided she couldn’t slip away quietly, though. She had to remind people she was leaving — as if anyone would have noticed.
Today I’ll walk out the gates of the White House for the last time as Press Secretary with my head held high. It’s been the honor and privilege of a lifetime to work with President @realDonaldTrump and his amazing team the last three and a half years. You’re the best…Thank you! pic.twitter.com/6H0uyMRtFX
— Sarah Sanders (@PressSec) June 28, 2019
And the responses to her goodbye tweet were, well, precious.
From now on, whenever Sarah Sanders shows up at a restaurant: 1. Take her order, 2. let her wait for an hour, 3. bring her a bill while insisting she’s received her order, and 4. when she gets mad, talk about civility and respect.
She has to get a fucking taste of how we felt.
— Akki (@akkitwts) June 28, 2019
Thank you for everything you have done for this county Sarah. You are a blessing.
Go fuck yourself. And your horrible brother tortures dogs.
— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) June 28, 2019
You can hold your head any way you want, honey. You’ll still be remembered as that “liar with no soul who talked to the media once every 6 months”.
— Ida Skibenes ❄️ (@ida_skibenes) June 28, 2019
Best liar ever to hold the job. Even you couldn’t stomach it any longer, huh?
— Steve Blum (@blumspew) June 28, 2019
You lied and spread propaganda on a daily basis. You humiliated yourself and stripped your name of any and all credibility. You covered for a corrupt boss. You will be resigned to history as the dishonest, unpatriotic shill you are. We don't want to see you ever again. Be gone.
— Mike P Williams (@Mike_P_Williams) June 28, 2019
Rest of the world be like: pic.twitter.com/6kO546xz2I
— Harmony Aquarian (@HarmonyAquarian) June 28, 2019
She has to hold her head high to keep it above all the shit that she’d otherwise drown in.
— UncleVasiliShwetz (@UShwetz) June 28, 2019
Accused Rapist's Liar will look real bangin' on the ole resume.
— Jeremy Newberger (@jeremynewberger) June 28, 2019
Yes, no one could have done…*checks notes*…absolutely nothing resembling the job of Press Secretary quite as well(?) as you.
— Richard Jeter (@MilesToGo13) June 28, 2019
Farewell, Mouth of Sauron. I’m so glad we had this time together. Enjoy eating Chick-fil-A for the rest of your natural life. I’m not sure who else will serve you.