His own worst enemy

CBC News / YouTube Donald Trump talks possible impeachment Michael...
CBC News / YouTube

You know, dogs my run around all day sniffing each others asses, but even the dumbest dog knows that you don’t shit in your food dish. But then again, not many people these days will accuse the current Commandcur in Chief of being better endowed mentally than your average mongrel.

The redacted search warrant application for Michael Cohen just hit the streets, and it’s enlightening to say the least. There are about 20 pages, and while they tend to confirm things we already knew from other sources, there were interesting nuggets. For instance, when the negotiations for hush money to Stormy Daniels were heating up, Cohen not only had frequent, multiple contacts with Keith Davidson, Daniels’ attorney at the time, and David Pecker of AMI, but also with Donald Trump and Hope Hicks.

It wasn’t supposed to be this way. When the SDNY advised the judge that the criminal investigation into wrongdoing in regards to the hush money payments was being quietly closed, the prosecutors slaving away under Tubby the Ewok asked the judge to keep those pages redacted, for third party concerns. Not only did the judge tell them to go and pound sand, he told them that the release of the documents was of urgent national concern.

President Trump? stand up and take a bow, fool. Since day one, Trump’s extreme narcissism and natural petulance have driven him to make easy targets of judges, going all the way back to his assertion that Indiana born Judge Curiel couldn’t be fair to him in the Trump U case, since Curiel was a Mexican, and Trump wanted to build a wall. Since then he has pathetically whined and railed against every judge who has dared to oppose or strike down his imperious edicts.

Look, I grew up in a family of cops, my grandfather and uncle wore the badge. And if there was one universal truth, it was that you never fuck with the judge. Judges tend to be a hybrid combo of lawyers who are politicians, and their ego makes them believe donning a $40 black polyester robe suffuses them with the wisdom of Solomon. And Lordy, are they clannish!

Now I’m not saying that these judges are ruling against His Lowness out of revenge. They’re ruling against him because he’s a dumb ass, who hires other dumb asses who are incapable of putting together facially valid administrative or executive orders. But vengeance is likely the reason that when these judges rule against him, they are not only scathing, but even sarcastic in their rebukes of his arguments before them. And they write their rulings with the kind of excruciating detail that makes them extremely difficult to overturn.

There are going to be real world consequences to Trump for his folly. Even though the DOJ won’t go after The Mango Messiah, New York state has their own laws regarding tax evasion, the accuracy and probity of company bookkeeping, falsification of company documents, and all kinds of things. Even though the DOJ may not choose to share with states the results of their investigations, when judges order the release of documents like this, it gives state and local prosecutors a road map of where to go, and what to subpoena themselves to get the required documents and evidence.

And it gets even worse. Because, when the appeals court affirms the lower court ruling that Lazar’s must turn over Trump’s financial records that the House subpoenaed, Trump is going to appeal to the Supreme Court. And the Supreme Court doesn’t work like other courts.

In a regular court, the state files criminal charges, or a plaintiff pays the filing fee to put forth a lawsuit, and it goes on a court docket. Not so with the Supreme Court. A plaintiff or defendant petitions the Supreme Court to hear their case. Basically, the litigant grovels on all fours, saying “pretty please with sprinkles on top,” and hopes the justices throw them a Scoobie snack.

Normally, it takes four justices to concur in order to put a case on the docket. But the Supreme Court absolutely hates getting involved in pissing contests between two coequal branches of government. The easiest cop out in the world for the Supreme Court is simply to decline to hear the case, leaving the appellate court ruling in effect, and forcing Lazar’s to turn over the documents requested, without getting their hands messy. And even if the court does agree to hear the case, I find it highly unlikely that Chief Justice John Roberts will choose to be the one to authorize an Imperial Presidency.

Emperor Numbnuts I has nobody to blame but himself. He made this particular judicial bed, and now he can take a nice, long nap in it. But it really shouldn’t surprise him when all of those bed bugs that keep biting him in the ass turn out to have little black polyester robes on. Payback is a bitch.

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