Dweller Between Waters / YouTube Donald Trump s new lawyer Joseph...
Dweller Between Waters / YouTube

Message to Don Cornholeone, “Keep it up bubbie, I can do this all day.” And here I thought that I’d have nothing to write about on a Saturday morning other than a bunch of high school kids making Wayne LaPierre hide under the bed, and Dana Loesch guzzle her beet extract from 55 gallon drums. Ah, the best laid plans, huh?

You know, I’ve got to be just about the only one in the country actually looking forward to the addition of Joe DiGenova to the Trump legal team. This is the one man in America that makes Trump look almost sane. For those of you unfamiliar with DiGenova, he is a former US Attorney most famous for letting Mueller probe witness George Nader off the hook on child pornography importation charges by fucking up the search warrant request. This legal rust stain has spent the last 10 years as a Fox commentator, mainly because he was too batshit crazy for Breitbart and Infowars. His stock in trade is conspiracy theories against Trump so ridiculous that even Tucker Carlson’s eyes glaze over listening to him, all spewed with an expression that says “You owe me $50, and I want it back NOW!” Oh yeah, and he had the lead role in his high school production of “Turdfellas.”

Trump’s come-to-Jesus ambulance chaser, Jay Sekulow made the announcement on Monday, scant days before his main legal beagle, John Dowd, decided that getting stiffed for legal defense by a crack dealer was morally superior to getting stiffed by Trump, and called it quits. His original role was envisioned to be taking over the unenviable task of defending the President to the media. This should be fun, since we’ll learn how Hillary contracted out with the Japanese Yakusa to pay Stormy Daniels to pass a lie detector test so she could tell 60 Minutes how Trump couldn’t satisfy her any better than oral surgery could.

But apparently, the road for DiGenova to become just another legal bum on the plush may contain just a pothole or two. Or three. According to new reporting on CNN, there seem to still be a couple of wrinkles in the suit;

DiGenova, along with his wife and law partner, Victoria Toensing, had a Thursday meeting with the President, the sources said. Even so, diGenova’s role, as well as that of Toensing who is also in discussions about joining the team, are in flux. One source said no one has been officially hired.
The Thursday meeting was the first time the husband-and-wife legal team met with the President since the Monday announcement. One source said that while Trump liked their message, the President is not convinced they are right for the legal jobs.
Turns out that DiGenova’s wife is part of a package deal, since apparently she doesn’t trust him to find his way home after work without adult supervision. But there has to be something more to this. The report indicated that Trump was unsure if the dyslexic duo was  “right for the job.” This is absurd, since at this point, if a lawyer has a license, a pulse, and can remember his own name, he’s over qualified. DiGenova is a perfect fit, shit, he thinks that Jim Comey secretly had Biggy and Tupac offed on orders from Obama to make Trump look bad. And DiGenova is dreaming of a massive payday, conveniently forgetting that the Tangerine Tantrum has a habit of losing his wallet where his legal team is concerned. Marriage made in heaven.
But apparently, there are legitimate legal concerns. The first one is conflict of interest. Their law firm is apparently a mom and pop bodega operation, and DiGenova’s wife represents Mark Corrallo, the former Trump legal aide who has already spoken to Mueller about how the now infamous “response” to the leaked report on Don Jr’s meeting with the Russians was crafted, Corrallo having resigned shortly afterwards when he feared that he may have witnessed obstruction of justice. She also represents Sam Clovis, the former Trump adviser who famously egged on George Papadopoulos to go ahead and make Russia’s day. Robert Mueller resigned from his law partnership to remove any possible conflicts of interest in taking the Special Counsel’s job, but it’s kind of hard to “resign” from your wife. There is also a question of whether or not he could obtain a security clearance, which effective representation might require, although if he is to be nothing more than a glorified media shill, granted sillier than most, this may not be an issue.
So, it looks like I might have to wait a little while to find out whether or not I’m going to have a new rawhide toy to chew on for the next few months, but at least it was a welcome diversion on what would otherwise be a slow and sleepy Saturday. Joy where you can find it these days.
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