Fox News is now blasting the liberal ‘War on Thanksgiving’

CBS News / YouTube Donald Trump 39 s full turkey 1542748539.jpg...
CBS News / YouTube

Okay, who’s the leaker? As you know, we libs were gonna go all Tet Offensive on yet another cherished American tradition three weeks from now and someone apparently spilled the gross green beans with bacon bits inexplicably strewn all over them.

Fox News has found its new boogeyman for November, and for some reason, it’s not a pr*sident who tried to trade hundreds of millions of dollars in foreign aid for dirt on his political opponents. It’s the liberals’ War on Thanksgiving! Of course!

So, apparently, one random person at Huffington Post wrote an article about reducing one’s carbon footprint over the Thanksgiving holiday by choosing lower-impact foods and buying locally sourced fare.

That kind of foolishness sounds hinky to Grandma, so naturally, Fox spent three days on it.

And, naturally, you can’t have a decent made-up war without the Five Horsemen of the Holiday Apocalypse, Fox & Friends and Diamond & Silk.

For the record, here’s part of what the author of this travel postcard from the Lake of Fire actually wrote about the holiday:

No one should be discouraged from enjoying the holiday or celebrating with family and friends, but we’re here to provide insight into the ingredients and dishes that have the largest ecological impact.

Fuck you, Huffington Post! I’m gonna bake my turkey in the combustion chamber of a 1950s jet engine and make my cranberry sauce from berries that were individually FedEx’d from a random selection of remote Asian countries, because I’m an AMERICAN!

Cranberry sauce plopping out of a can
Or this. This always works.

I just hope the libs don’t screw with other revered Thanksgiving traditions, like the White House turkey eschewing a pardon and instead agreeing to testify.

Also, you’d think Fox would have learned from recent history that you don’t open a second front in a war until the first conflict has been resolved. War on Christmas anyone? Focus, people.

And now, my favorite Thanksgiving tradition of all time. Watching this:

Enjoy your holiday, everyone! Can’t wait to destroy it completely and salt the ground where it stands! Who’s with me?

 

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6 Comments on "Fox News is now blasting the liberal ‘War on Thanksgiving’"

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Debra
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Debra

We all went thru the crap of poor Evangelicals not being able to say Merry Christmas and now this. Just something else for these poor forgotten people to cry about. I wish they would just shut the f up. So tired of all their BS.

Rutokin
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Rutokin

What a bunch of stupid morons, come on kool-aid drinkers, really, is the boogeyman under your bed too ?

DHG
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The liberals are going to need to crush these idiots as liberals far exceed them.

TAra
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TAra

No one said anything about the most wasteful holiday… Halloween. Adults could Totally pass that one up… but they don’t.

Jon
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Fox News-“”Pair down the Endless sides and apps””. Do they mean “pare”? Are they illiterate?

True Patriot
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True Patriot

PAIR, PAIR, PAIR, PAIR, PAIR, PAIR???? Did Trump send that in?

Literally ROTFLMAO.