Individual-1 tries to throw in the undercoating this morning as he goes off to Camp David for a staff retreat and perhaps work in some golf.

As if quoting Obama and Hillary makes a wall more enticing.

Look at the white walls on that baby and it’ll make your sheets whiter …

and the wall will solve inflation…

[President Carter on TV]

President Carter: -high inflation. What is the solution?

[TV cuts to commercial for Luke’s yard taking place in Roy’s yard]

Jeff: You want the solution to inflation? Hi, friends. Marshall Lucky here for New Deal Used Cars, where we’re lowering inflation not only by fighting high prices, not only by murdering high prices, but by blowing the living shit out of high prices. Yessir. Here’s an example. It’s a 1972 Cadillac Coupe DeVille, for sixty-two ninety-nine. That price is too high.

[shoots car]

Jeff: Yessir. Here’s another one. It’s a Lincoln Continental, Mark IV, 1973. It’s loaded. It’s got air conditioning. It’s got a stereo. It’s got white-wall radial tires. It’s got power steering, power brakes, power seats, power windows. And a price that is just too high.

[shoots car]

Jeff: Yessir.

[Jim appears on car behind him in costume]


Freddie: [on microphone] Look out, Marshall Lucky. It’s High Prices.

Jeff: Take this, you dirty ol’ High Prices.

[“shoots” Jim, who puts on a very convincing act]

Jim: AHHHH. Ya got me Marshall. Ahhhhh…

Jeff: [shocked] Jesus Christ.

[winks at screen]

Jeff: Yessir, that’s New Deal Used Cars… Now wait just a Goddamn minute. What the hell is this? Is this a 1974 Mercedes 450SL for *twenty-four thousand dollars*? That’s too fucking high.

[blows up car with dynamite. Roy watches at home]

Roy: You sonova bitch.

Jeff: [laughs] Yessir. We blew the shit out of that over-priced motherfucker just the way we blow the shit out of *all* high prices, down here at New Deal Used Cars. So y’all come on down. Did you hear what I said? New Deal Used Cars. So y’all come on down. Did you hear what I said?

[TV cuts back to President]

President Carter: I have heard you, with unmistakable clarity…

Roy: You sonova bitch.

[kicks TV and electrocutes himself]…

Well, here’s what Trump tweeted about his hoped-for wall, the one that prompted him to go forward with a partial government shutdown that left hundreds of thousands of federal employees out of work and unpaid over the Christmas and New Year’s holidays.

(A wall that, we learned yesterday, was originally conceived as a mnemonic device to help then-candidate Trump remember to hang on to immigration as a central issue of his presidential bid.)…


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