Fear Not, Pat Robertson Has Commanded Hurricane Florence To Be Gone

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Behold, Hurricane Florence was a category 4 storm a few days ago and that worried televangelist Pat Robertson aplenty, because his Christian Broadcasting Network is right in it’s path. So he decided to take matters into his own hands, and commanded Florence, in the name of Jesus, of course, not to harm his facilities and to go back out to sea. This isn’t satire, this is Right Wing Watch:

“We declare in the name of the Lord that you shall go no farther, you shall do no damage in this area,” he said. “We declare a shield of protection all over Tidewater and we declare a shield of protection over those innocent people in the path of this hurricane. In Jesus’ holy name, be out to sea!”

Robertson then assured those who had gathered in prayer that they will “live to mark this day” as the moment when their prayers guaranteed that “we are not going to let Hurricane Florence hurt us.”

Robertson claimed that when he first arrived in Virginia in 1961 to establish CBN, the region was threatened by Hurricane Esther, which he feared would destroy his fledgling network. As such, Robertson and his staff gathered in prayer and commanded the storm to shift course, which he claims miraculously happened because God stepped in to save CBN.

But lo, those heretics at the Washington Post  are still on the job, reporting that Florence is decreasing in strength but expanding in size, and 1.5 million people have been ordered to evacuate coastal areas.

Can you believe the hubris of this evangelical wingnut? But he’ll find a way to spin this nonsense to his advantage, no matter what happens. Friendly Atheist:

It’s almost ingenious how this works. If the hurricane does no damage, Robertson will just take credit for it. If it causes chaos, he’ll come back and say it was God’s will. Needless to say, a bunch of people raising their hands in the air will do as much to stop the hurricane as blowing really hard will to prevent forest fires.

Maybe next time, Robertson can ask God not to create the hurricane altogether…

I doubt this will work in any case. He didn’t even use a scepter.

These are the people who elected Donald Trump, never lose sight of that fact. Robertson and his ilk want to see a theocratic rule in the United States. He started preaching that on his TV show back in the 80’s.

The idea of taking over and controlling the United States government began with a series of guest appearances:

On April 4, 1985, Billy Graham appeared on the show, and in a startling announcement said, “I’m for evangelicals “… getting control of the Congress, getting control of the bureaucracy, getting control of the executive branch of government. If we leave it to the other side we’re going to be lost.”

On September 25, 1985, Tim LaHaye, appeared in a film clip with Phyllis Schlafly on the show. In that clip, he laid out the plan to take over the government of the United States. He said:

“Suppose that every Bible believing church—all 110,000—decided to…raise up one person to run for public office and win… If every church in the next ten years did that, we would have more Christians in office than there are positions…there are only 97,000 elective offices.”

These people are funny ha ha but they are also a bit nuts and they are dangerous. Don’t underestimate their destructive power any more than you would under estimate a rabid dog’s.

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10 Comments on "Fear Not, Pat Robertson Has Commanded Hurricane Florence To Be Gone"

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Robert Burnett
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Robert Burnett

Somebody tell this clown that God can’t be mocked and won’t be. Only God can control the wind and the waves. Robertson probably couldn’t control his bladder.

J Brady
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J Brady

Why is this deluded foof still relevant to ANYONE?

Alfred Higgins
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Alfred Higgins

Soooooooo, in response to Pat Robertson’s petition, God dropped hurricane Florence’s intensity to a Category 2 before landfall! /s

Inzane
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Inzane

By Golly, Pat! You should be down there facing that storm head on. It will surely shrink in the mighty Lordy Power you bring to it!
How did you miss your calling in Texas, Louisiana & Puerto Rica?

Bartley Deason
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Bartley Deason

Christianity in America in the 21st century! Does anyone wonder why there is a rise in atheism in this country?

Karen LeBlanc
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Karen LeBlanc

I’m a Christian and I can’t stand Pat Robinson. He is like the Farisees in the Bible. A few years he gave an employer the advice to fire a struggling single mom cause she can harm his business. I was in such disbelief, this man doesn’t teach the work of Christ, he is arrogant and full of pride. Christ teaches love, compassion and Grace, this old fool teaches hate, division and self pride.

Olivia Carter
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Olivia Carter

LOL! Dude! God isn’t even listening to you! He’s listening to us true Christians!!

Olivia Carter
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Olivia Carter

LOL! Dude, God don’t listen to heathens! You are a evil man!