Much like the pedophile population, a lot of the thrill for conservative Christians is to meet in groups of like-minded bigots and swap stories, tips, and techniques for pursuing the objects of their perversion. Which, for pedophiles, is children. And for the Christian hate-slingers, it is anyone who falls under the LGTBQ+ umbrella. Typical of this dismal pursuit was the “Global Summit” offered by the Harvest International Ministry, a church in Pasadena, California, this weekend. A key speaker was the evangelical Mario Murillo.
He checks every box on the right-wing evangelical list. Mario hates anyone outside his ‘Christian’ binary worldview. He thinks the election was stolen. That Trump was chosen by God to be a modern-day Cyrus. And that God will soon right the wrongs inflicted on America by Satan’s Army (aka Democrats, Liberals, Socialists, gays, trans, and abortionists).
Here is a typical offering from this angry man:
“I felt the fierceness, the rage, and the absolute spirit of God Almighty. I fear for the Democrat Party tonight because you ain’t messing with me anymore, you’re not even messing with the people in this room, and you’re not messing with these pastors—I saw God get up off of his throne, roll up his sleeves, and tell America, ‘I’m coming. I’m coming!’”
He wasn’t done:
“I’m going to tell you that this is not all good news. God said, ‘Whatever I have to do to save America, I will do it. If it means natural disaster, I’ll do it. If it means destroying her economy and her global prestige, I will do it. If it means that I need to do some things where preachers start dying in the pulpit like Ananias and Sapphira [*see below], if the moguls and the billionaires like Bill Gates suddenly have their jets go missing, [I will do it].’
And then he got to the part where the hand of God gives America the middle finger:
The hand of God can come on America like a hurricane, like a storm, like fire, and that fire can come with such force that our entire standard of living could be altered overnight.”
This raises the question: if God wants Republicans to win why do they almost always lose the popular vote and regularly the Electoral College? How can He be strong enough to summon natural disaster, economic calamity, and a mortal blow to America’s prestige — while at the same he can’t get an election to come out the way he wanted?
The metaphorical alien who landed on Earth, clueless about American politics, would be forced to conclude the facts support the theory that God — if not actually a Democrat — is at best agnostic on the subject of who wins elections.
Perhaps Murillo knows something the rest of us don’t? Once again the evidence for that position is fragile. In AD365, Bishop Hilary of Poitiers predicted the end of the world would occur that year. He was wrong (although you know that) as was every other doomsayer in the last 1,656 years. But failure doesn’t deter them — does it?
Murillo got specific:
“God is not about drag queens reading to our children. God is not about your 6-year-old, because of social media, thinking she’s a boy. This gender-bending, this perversion, this Coca-Cola, American Airlines, Delta Airlines, all of you that are sitting there telling Georgia how they can write their laws; through your money, you’re going to tell a free state in America what they can do? God’s not gonna sit back, folks. Jehovah-jireh is on the move. He’s coming. He’s coming with fire. He’s coming as a lion.”
I have to honest. Murillo and his kind are like the trickster movie people who produce trailers and posters promising all kinds of action for films that fail to live up to the hype. Think of God as the divine version of “Battlefield Earth”. John Travolta’s paean to L. Ron Hubbard who had the huckster’s perfect pitch for parting religious fools from their money.
Murillo warmed to his fevered imaginings:
“God is coming to save America, but it’s not gonna be fun. All of you evangelical leaders who voted for Joe Biden, and God help you, turned around and told other Christians to vote for Joe Biden, you think you’re going to get off the hook scot-free? You think you’re gonna get a little slap on the wrist? There’s a mighty God coming and saying, ‘How could you endorse abortion like that? How can you destroy a marriage?’”
I don’t know if Pornhub has a ‘celestial torture porn’ category. But if they don’t, they should look into it. There’s money to be made. All they have to do is advertise in church circulars. They should also make sure it comes with a gay sub-category. Because these church people will no doubt want to do some ‘research’.
* Note: Ananias and Sapphira were a husband and wife who sold their land to give the money to the Apostles. They held a little bit back. And for this ‘sin’ they were executed on the spot — presumably by God. But possibly by Peter — who demanded to know why they had lied to the ‘Holy Spirit’. Which raises the question; which is the worse sin? Homosexuality or shorting the collection plate?