I say “schaden,” you say “freude”!

Schaden!

I can’t hear you!

Okay, we’ll come back to that.

This is all you need to know for the time being. Donald J. Trump’s “From the Desk of” blog (link not available) is a big dumpy pile of impotent derp.

From NBC News:

The ex-president’s blog has drawn a considerably smaller audience than his once-powerful social media accounts, according to engagement data compiled with BuzzSumo, a social media analytics company. The data offers a hint that while Trump remains a political force, his online footprint is still dependent on returning to Facebook, Twitter and YouTube.

Trump’s new blog has attracted a little over 212,000 engagements, defined as backlinks and social interactions — including likes, shares and comments — received across Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Reddit. Before the ban, a single Trump tweet was typically liked and retweeted hundreds of thousands of times. 

Hmm, maybe he could launch a GeoCities page. Or have they banned him, too? 

Of course, none of this is a huge surprise. While Trump’s blog isn’t quite as embarrassing as the MyPillow dude’s Frankspeech.com, it’s still Mickey Mouse shit. Emphasis on shit.

Jeremy Blackburn, an assistant professor of computer science at New York’s Binghamton University who co-wrote some of this research, said Trump’s move is even more limiting.

“In the case of Trump’s new platform, it is so technologically primitive that there is no way for his followers to even migrate,” Blackburn said. “Who cares about a platform where you can’t even own the libs? There are plenty of other newsletters that people have been adding to their spam boxes for years.”

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The Trump-ectomy continues. Now Facebook needs to ensure the big bloaty scrote dirigible never returns. Maybe we can make some noise about that.

Schadenfreude, babies. It feels so good.

It made comedian Sarah Silverman say “THIS IS FUCKING BRILLIANT” and prompted author Stephen King to shout “Pulitzer Prize!!!” (on Twitter, that is). What is it? The viral letter that launched four hilarious Trump-trolling books. Get them all, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link. Just $12.96 for the pack of 4! Or if you prefer a test drive, you can download the epilogue to Goodbye, Asshat for the low, low price of FREE.

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