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We all saw Rudy’s “star witness” Mellissa Carone make a sneering, screeching fool of herself during her turns in front of Republican-dominated Michigan State House and Senate panels investigating the fairy tales of “election fraud” touted by Trump, Giuliani, and every other miserable bastard who is still trying to curry favor with the wannabe despot.

Now Dominion Voting Systems, the voting machine manufacturer who has found itself at the center of the Trump butthurt shitstorm, has something for Carone. A Dominion executive has already filed a lawsuit against the Trump campaign, Giuliani, OANN, Newsmax, and others. It looks like Carone’s turn in the barrel is coming.

I have no idea how Giuliani first learned of Carone, who was described as a “contract IT worker” hired by Dominion to help handle ballots in Wayne County. (Dominion has shredded that description, too; see below.) Maybe it was her appearance on Lou “Goebbels Lite” Dobbs’s Fox Business show, where her claims of massive election fraud left even Dobbs scratching his balding head. On November 13, a Wayne County judge ruled her allegations “simply are not credible.”

Regardless, on December 1 and 2, Carone ruled the airwaves for a few brief, shining moments, posing, squirming, and tongue-lashing befuddled Republican lawmakers while making vast, incredulous claims of election fraud. She told the panel:

I know what I saw. And I signed something saying if I’m wrong, I can go to prison. Did you?

She treats this Republican like he’s a Chick-fil-A employee and the milkshake machine went down.

Carone claimed she worked a 24-hour nonstop shift for Dominion, and as per an affidavit (or an “affa david,” as she called it) filed November 10, she says she saw numerous ballots being scanned over and over, and said she saw vans that were being used to bring meals to election workers were actually hiding tens of thousands of illegal ballots. She told one committee:

Everything that happened at that TCF Center was fraud. Every single thing.

When questioned the next day about her claim that 30,000 votes were counted multiple times, she fired back, “What’d you guys do, take it and do something crazy to it?” punctuating her query by biting her bottom lip and hiking her eyebrows up to her hairline. She then asserted that there were “zero” registered voters in Wayne County’s poll book and that at least 100,000 fraudulent votes had been cast.

Of course, every word out of her mouth was a lie. And now she may face judgment in the face of a truly scorching lawsuit by Dominion.

On December 22, Dominion’s attorneys sent a truly harsh letter to Carone, demanding that she preserve any and all evidence she may have to support her “defamatory” claims that Dominion engaged in systematic voter fraud in Wayne County. (She’s not the only one to receive such a letter, for the record.) Dominion accused Carone of engaging in a “smear campaign against the company” and that her claims are “outlandish.”

It gets better. The letter reads, in part:

You gained international infamy earlier this month as Rudy Giuliani’s so-called ‘star witness’ who could supposedly corroborate outlandish accusations that Dominion has somehow rigged or otherwise improperly influenced the outcome of the Nov. 2020 U.S. presidential election. Without a shred of corroborating evidence, you have claimed that you witnessed several different versions of voter fraud — ranging from one story involving a van, to other accusations that votes were counted multiple times. You published these statements even though you knew all along that your attacks on Dominion have no basis in reality.

Ouch.

Dominion also slapped down her claims that she was a valued contractor for Dominion who had any access to any kind of sensitive information. She wasn’t an “IT contractor” at all. Instead:

We write to you now because you have positioned yourself as a prominent leader of the ongoing misinformation campaign by pretending to have some sort of ‘insider’s knowledge’ regarding Dominion’s business activities, when in reality you were hired through a staffing agency for one day to clean glass on machines and complete other menial tasks.

In other words, she was a temp hired for a single day to clean the fax machines, take out the trash, and sweep shit up every couple of hours. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that kind of work. I’ve done it. My wife has done it. But neither of us went before House and Senate committees and lied about our employers. Much less tried to wreck American democracy.

The letter instructs Carone to cease and desist making any further “defamatory claims against Dominion” and preserve any electronic and paper documents she may have regarding those claims for “imminent” lawsuits. Those include emails, texts and other communications she had with Trump’s stable of batshit crazy “lawyers” such as Giuliani, Sidney “Release the Kraken” Powell, Lin “I Never Bit the Heads Off of Bats” Wood, Jenna “Ewww, Giuliani Farted On Me” Ellis, and whichever zombie assholes she may have been talking to in the Trump campaign. Dominion also wants to know who may have paid her for her testimony.

Dominion attorney Tom Clare told a reporter:

I think it’s fair to say in January we will be pulling the trigger on multiple litigation matters. The damage that they’ve done has already been enormous. … The time for a retraction is not now; it was weeks ago. I’m certain a retraction does not undo the damage but it’s the right thing [to do,] regardless of litigation.

All kidding aside: Carone is an ordinary citizen who, because she’s a Trump fanatic who couldn’t wait to get into the mud with the big pigs like Giuliani, Powell, and Ellis, and fling shit on camera, now finds herself in the crosshairs of some serious legal proceedings, and with nothing to defend herself with except a bad attitude. She claimed she can’t even get a job because of, well, Democrats, of course.

She might familiarize herself with the story of former Lieutenant Colonel Terry Lakin, who, egged on by far-right media figures, “took a stand” by refusing to deploy to Afghanistan with his unit, because, he said, President Obama wasn’t a legitimate commander-in-chief.

Lakin was encouraged by the “birther” contingent to become a high-profile martyr for the cause. He did. When the Army court-martialed him, stripped him of his rank and pension, and jugged his stupid ass in Leavenworth for five months, the “birthers” ran off to squeal and fling shit somewhere else, leaving Lakin high and dry. They promised to support him through thick and thin. They didn’t.

Carone may be clinging to fantasies where hordes of right-wing lawyers (perhaps from the presigious firm of Ellis, Giuliani and Wood?) will swoop in to stand with her, pro bono, while the Forces of Evil try and fail to hold her accountable in court. She should ask Terry Lakin how that worked out for him.

Carone’s had her moment in the limelight. Now she gets to pay the freight for that. We should probably summon up some sympathy for her stupid, lying ass.

You’re welcome to do so if you choose. She’ll get none from me.

 

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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.

7 COMMENTS

  1. I love it when these attention seeking charlatans are held to account and brought before the law. Watching them squirm and try to wriggle out of their legal predicament gives me no end of great pleasure.

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