What was it that I said a few days ago, something about not realizing what you had until it was gone? Turns out that applies too. Lately, due to the fact that he is a one man jackhammer to the foundation of the stock market, Trump has managed to find ways to delay his daily televised mental masturbation session until well after the markets have closed for the day. As such, he has normally been drooling and slobbering merrily away during my official old fart nap time. But suddenly today, with the markets closed for Good Friday, I ended up with a 55 gallon drum of drivel dumped over my head.
But today showed me that whether it’s due to age, distraction, inattention, or mental incontinence, when it comes to guile, misdirection, and pure flat out bullshit, Trump is losing something off of his fastball. It used to take hours of tin-panning through the river of bullshit trying to finds the small, golden nuggets of truth that pointed the way to his true, nefarious intentions. Now he just plops them along behind himself, like a horse strolling along after eating too many green apples.
Just from what he said today, while I sat there bleeding from the eyes, I can already glean the contours of his next scam-o-rama of self effacing bullshit as the corona-virus plods along its course. Let’s just take a peek at some of the fun-with-Dick-and-Jane bullshit we can look forward to hearing over the next few days and weeks.
For starters, get ready to hear a lot about testing in the days to come, mainly because it’s a subject that His Lowness has been getting his ass kicked over, and now it’s time for payback. Trump went all in on defending his testing record today, claiming that the United States is doing more testing right now than anybody in the world. Oddly enough, that may actually be true, but the operative words in that sentence are right now. We’re doing the most testing because pretty much everybody else in the world is already fucking done with the mass testing that helped them to finally flatten the curve! But being Trump, he also had to lie out of both halves of his mouth. He defended not testing everywhere by saying that there was no need to test in places where there are no cases. Ummm, no, actually shit-for-brains, that’s exactly where you want to test, to find the asymptomatic ones so you can isolate them away from everybody else! But why let logic and facts get in the way of a nice fantasy
Next, watch El Pendejo Presidente try to treat every Governor in the country like the President of Montenegro, and elbow them right out of the picture. At least if they have a “D” after their name. He’s already doing it. For instance, in today’s oral Rorschach test, Trump highlighted the fact that Washington’s Governor, whom he refused to mention by name, had just returned to the government a field hospital that Trump’s decisive leadership had built there, and which was no longer needed. Missing from that four-bong-hit vision was the fact that by the time his lazy ass finally got the Army Corps of Engineers out there to build the fucking thing, it was no longer needed! Watch for this to become standard fare. As more good news starts to trickle in, look for Trump to glorify his weak, pathetic, ineffective response, while neatly covering up the fact that that same effort made those Governor’s jobs so much harder, and actually cost American lives.
And finally there’s this one, I can already see this one coming, and this one really pisses me off! In the days and weeks to come, as the curve flattens out nationally as well as locally, and the death toll starts to drop, Trump is going to portray himself as the savior of the nation. And here’s why that should really piss you off too.
Just about a week ago at this time, Trump suddenly latched onto a couple of numbers, Those numbers were 100,000 and 240,000. For once, these weren’t numbers that Trump randomly pulled out of his ass. They were model projections of the number of American lives that Trump’s careless, callous, uncaring response to the corona-virus was going to cost us in American lives. Trump didn’t latch onto those numbers because of the misery and suffering they foretold, he latched onto them because they were Big. Fat. Round. Superlative. Fucking. Numbers. And saying them into the cameras made him sound really serious, and somber, and presidential.
But today Trump latched onto another number, 60,000. That one also isn’t made up. Thanks to the hard fought, gutsy, life changing real time decisions by Governors all over this country, often in direct opposition to the federal response, and the Herculean efforts of the front line medical workers of this country, overworked, and under protected by their president, and the willingness of ordinary citizens to just shut the fuck up and listen for once, that is the new projection of how many fatalities this country will suffer if we hold the course.
You mark my words, if this trend continues into next week and the week beyond, if New York sees its apex, and starts to plateau, or God willing even start to decline, and that number of 60,000 remains a steady projection, make no mistake about it. That arrogant, blustering, ignorant, incompetent bastard in the White House, the Crypt Keeper in a day glo spray tan, is going to take all and unconditional credit for it. It will be Donald fucking Trump’s bold, steady, decisive leadership that saved anywhere from 40,000-180,000 lives. And don’t just take his word for it, his corn fed, dung stomping fluffer Mike Pence will be happy to tell you all about it
So, as you can see, for whatever indeterminate reason, Trump is getting easier to read these days when it comes to the direction of his mindless bullshit. But the bad news is, knowing what that bullshit will be doesn’t make it any easier to swallow when he shovels it up.
To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen