A group of funny gals and guys working with a game company called Cards Against Humanity (CAD) are creatively driving a bigly BOING! into Donald Trump’s wet-dream of a border Wall. The wall is to keep immigrants out of a country that, with the exception of Native American Indians, is made up—of immigrants.
The new CAD campaign Cards Against Humanity Saves America was launched this week. The company purchased land on the US-Mexico border and sold plots for $15 each.
Here’s an excerpt from the CAD webpage:
Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans. He is so afraid that he wants to build a twenty-billion dollar wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing. So we’ve purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built.
Being in a seller’s market that we are, this land reportedly had buyers lined up around the Internet. The plots were sold-out within hours, leaving countless potential buyers sad and wanting.
Carter Jackson (Millennial) talks about the campaign in a creative video.
In the early part of the 21st century, Donald Trump had just been elected President of the United States. The American Empire was in decline. After decades of global supremacy, the people had become lazy—and stupid. The country seemed to be hanging by a thread.
But then a small game card company from Chicago, Illinois, known as Cards Against Humanity launched a bold campaign to save America. These scrappy comedy writers would come to be hailed as saviors by the American people. They stopped Trump’s Wall, solved the problem of Fake News and ended the creeping scourge of Homework.
Carter Jackson (Millennial):
“The struggle was real. Things were getting worse. Then, it happened Cards Against Humanity announced this crazy holiday marketing campaign, and it only cost $15.”
On the first day of the campaign, Cards Against Humanity purchased acres of land along the US-Mexico border (and didn’t build a wall on it). They retained a law firm to fight the United States government and prevent them from ever building the wall.
Dr. Laural MacDouglas (Historian):
”Everyone who signed up for the promotion was given a small portion of the land. That way, together, they owned it. The government would have to take them to court and fight in order to put up the wall…This was just Day One of the campaign. There were still five more days—five more days of incredible surprises all for just $15.”
So how did the promotion work? It was simple. People used the Internet, a popular technology at the time, and typed in www.cardsagainsthumanitysavesamerica.com to sign up. What would follow would be an incredible barrage of gifts and surprises that captured the heart of the nation.
Below are some screen shots from the Cards Against Humanity Saves America webpage that tell more of the story. Since the text is tiny, each image is followed by a transcription.)
Donald Trump is a preposterous golem who is afraid of Mexicans. He is so afraid that he wants to build a twenty billion dollar wall that everyone knows will accomplish nothing. So we’ve purchased a plot of vacant land on the border and retained a law firm specializing in eminent domain to make it as time-consuming and expensive as possible for the wall to get built.
On Day 1, all Cards Against Humanity Saves America recipients will get an illustrated map of the land, a certificate of our promise to fight the wall, some new cards, and a few other surprises.
It’s 2007, and the government is being run by a toilet. We have no choice: Cards Against Humanity is going to save America.
There is no time for questions—now is the time to act. You give us $15, and we’ll send six America-saving surprises right to your doorstep. It will be fun, it will be weird, and if you voted for Trump, you might want to sit this one out.
Directions: You Give Us $15. Hurry * We’ll Frantically Stuff Envelopes * You’ll Get Six Surprises In The Mail Next Monday * America Will Be Saved
What is this?
This is our holiday promotion. Cards Against Humanity Saves America. You’ll pay us $15 right now and we’ll send you six surprises in December.
What are the six surprises?
The nature of the surprises is that it surprises you when it occurs.
What are you saving America from?
Injustice, lies, racism, the whole enchilada.
You said you weren’t going to do one of these complicated holiday promotions again.
We’re liars. Just like the president.
I don’t like that you’re getting political. Why don’t you just stick to card games?
Why don’t you stick to seeing how many Hot Wheels cars you can fit into your asshole?
When will I receive my gifts?
Throughout the month of December you will receive a veritable bukkaka of surprises. Get ready.
I don’t live in the US or Canada. Can I still sign up?
No. This is Cards Against Humanity Saves America not Cards Against Humanity Saves The Dumb Country You Live In.
I’d like to cancel my order.
We’d like to cancel the 2016 election, but neither of us is going to get what we want.
Can I give this as a gift?
Sure. Just put in their address instead of yours. We won’t tell them it’s from you.
Are these surprises going to embarrasses me or the person who’s getting them?
The surprises contain no sexual content, graphic violence, or footage of Donald Trump watching Russian prostitutes urinate on a bed Obama slept I. the do have some naughty words, though.
I want to give this as a birthday gift. Will the gifts arrive on the exact date I need them? Can I expedite shipping?
We can’t control the exact dates and there’s no expedited shipping.
Can I use an APO or FPO address?
Unfortunately, we can’t ship these gifts to APO or FPO addresses. Please forgive us, or use someone else’s domestic address.
Is Cards Against Humanity being politically correct now?
We’re e just being regular correct.
It’s good to laugh. It’s good to know so many of us are on the same path and on the right side of history. This is just one more example of #TheResistance working against the Trump Administration. And whether or not it works, it’s something. And with so many of us doing something, we get closer every day to seeing this “toilet” of a goverment crumble. We’lll never return to normal because we’ve never been normal—but the bulk of our people are great. Something broke in the 2016 election, and may never fully know the truth, but we are coming out a stronger nation by this.
Thanks to Cards Against Humanity for their guts and humor, and congratulations to the new US-Mexican border landowners.