BREAKING: The Lid Is Off! The New York Times Has Seen Trump’s Taxes! UPDATE

THIS IS BREAKING NEWS AS U TYPE. The New York Times has just broken the news of the ultimate October Surprise. They have personally seen 20 years of Donald Trump’s tax returns. Teri is reading the Times article and feeding me as I go along, so we’ll start with the highlights, and I can fill […]

Trump Is Running Out Of Feet To Shoot Himself In

You know, if I’m Stacey Abrams, I’m hard at work right now, punching up my speech before the prime time cameras tonight, just to pep it up. Something like; Good evening. I would like to begin tonight with a few quick remarks regarding the ongoing postal service crisis. Welcome to our world white America. This has been going […]

70-Year Old Takes on 2 (3?) GOP Congress Critters on Twitter. GOP Badly Outgunned.

I’m not a huge fan of Ron Perlman the actor. I liked Hellboy, hated Alien: Resurrection, and haven’t watched Sons of Anarchy because I think the title is pretentious (I understand it is excellent, so likely a bad decision on my part). But he obviously eats belligerent little boys masquerading as “lawmakers” for breakfast. Twitter is, in a lot of ways, an ever-simmering fondue pot of weasel shit that sometimes comes to a boil and spatters everyone at the table. Over the last few days it boiled over. It started with one of the biggest idiots in the Republican caucus, Representative Matt Gaetz (R-Giggles at Fart Jokes). Gaetz didn’t take well to the US Soccer’s Board of Directors decision to repeal its policy requiring athletes to stand for the National Anthem. Showing an amazing lack of give-a-shit about Black Lives Mattering a damn, Gaetz responded that he’d rather see the US Soccer program disbanded than an athlete taking a knee during the anthem. I’d rather the US not have a soccer team than have a soccer team that won’t stand for the National Anthem. You shouldn’t get to play under our flag as our national team if you won’t stand when it is raised. — Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) June 11, 2020 You shouldn’t get to play under our flag as our national team if you won’t stand when it is raised. Don’t even get me started on the First Amendment and the Constitutionally given right to stand, sit, take a knee, or guzzle an entire bottle of Old Panther Sweat during the anthem. Just fuck off, Gaetz, you ignorant fascist. The Twitterati apparently felt the same. After some epic dragging by people calling themselves NastyJerseyGirl and La Bifurcated Penis Strangiato (okay, I make shit up sometimes), among others, Perlman weighed in. The US Soccer team called and you guessed it… said they couldn’t give any less of a fuck about what you two dipshits think. @realDonaldTrump @mattgaetz — Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 13, 2020 Yeeowch. Compared to some of the other responses, Perlman’s wasn’t a carefully crafted insult pearl, but it had plenty of backhand to it. Gaetz, predictably, didn’t like it, and since Perlman wasn’t physically anywhere around to send Gaetz scurrying under the furniture, he answered. This racial justice warrior had no problem in Hollywood portraying the White Supremacist leader of a motorcycle gang. #SOA — Matt Gaetz (@mattgaetz) June 14, 2020 Oooh. Now this is the work of a veteran internet troll. “Racial justice warrior.” “Hollywood.” Nice Fox News callouts, fartboi. Also notice that Gaetz doesn’t seem to understand that Perlman’s choice to play a white supremacist biker gang leader on TV doesn’t make him a hypocrite if, in real life, he is a #BLM supporter. Which he is. No one ever accused Gaetz of having any mental firepower. Or consistency, since he brought an actual white supremacist, the odious Chuck Johnson, to the State of the Union address. (Gaetz’ defense? “I had no idea who he was.” Gaetz is an infantile liar.) Perlman pointed that out a little later during their exchange: Try again? Dude, you brought a Holocaust denier to the State Of The Union. Doesn’t get sicker than that. Buzz off punk, it’s past your bedtime. — Ron Perlman (@perlmutations) June 15, 2020 […]

Hold On To Your Stimulus Check Hats, This Could Get Ugly!

Keep an eye on this for the next several days. The Washington Post just reported that, in a typically self aggrandizing move to stoke his voracious ego, Trump ordered that his name appear in the “signatory” line on the emergency stimulus checks that are scheduled to begin flowing out to millions of Americans next month. By now we are all used to Trump’s particular affinity for bullshit grandstanding in order to stoke his own voracious ego at the expense of those working around him. It’s kind of like shoving the President of Montenegro out of the way for a front row slot for a world leader group photo op. But this time it’s just a little different. The problem is that Trump isn’t entitled to sign the fucking checks. Federal funds, disbursed according to federal law, are to go out under the signature of the Treasury Secretary, not the brainless boneheaded President of the United States. Why do you think that The Munchkin Man, and his B-movie actress wife went flying off, elbow length gloves included, to have their pictures taken with the first rows of $100 bills as they came off of the presses with Munchkins name on them? Mark my words, this is going to cause trouble, and lots of it. Just because I’m his brother doesn’t mean that I can sign my name to his checks to pay my monthly bills. There are going to be legal court challenges to these Treasury Department checks going out with any name other than the Treasury Secretary’s on them. And who is going to be getting these checks? That’s right, those poor enough that they don’t have to file tax returns, or those too poor to be able to have a checking account for their refunds to be direct deposited to. We have seen this cheap, lame shit before. We saw it when His Lowness skipped out of a GOP primary debate because his delicate, sensitive little snowflake fee-fees were bruised, and held a veterans fundraiser instead. His fundraiser was oversubscribed by rich shitpokes who wanted ambassadorships under a Trump administration, and allowed Trump to accumulate months of interest on millions of dollars of funds, before the Washington Post’s David Fahrenthold finally shamed him into cutting some checks. Only this time, he’s fucking with the most vulnerable and the worst off among us. Rot in hell, motherfucker. To know the future, look to the past.before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

Trump Tips His Racist Hand When He Disses Parasite, Advocates Gone With The Wind...

Donald Trump divulges a lot of unintended toxic views when he goes off script, which is something you can depend upon when he’s with his base. He lives to get with them and experience the roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd and feel the adoration coming up at him, when he throws red meat out, usually racist dogma. Trump was in Colorado Springs Thursday and he bemoaned the fact that the movie Parasite from South Korea, a bitingly dark comedy about class struggle won the Best Picture Oscar. “And the winner from South Korea — what the hell is that? We have enough trade problems with South Korea? Can we get back ‘Gone With The Wind?'” Yes, indeed, can we go back to a sensible world of white supremacy, where slavery is depicted as paternalistic at worst and even desirable — seen from the POV of the slaves who stuck around? I think that Trump’s problem with Parasite is that he had to read sub-titles and we know he can’t read. What an affront, for Trump to have to watch people from a different culture and speaking a different language, depict a universal human problem. It truly must have been too much for him. Trump goes off on the Oscars for giving Best Picture to Parasite because it's a South Korean movie — Claudia Koerner (@ClaudiaKoerner) February 21, 2020 “Was it [Parasite] any good? I don’t know.” i’m sure he doesn’t. Trump has probably never seen a foreign film in his life, because he can’t read subtitles. That’s too art house for him. Yeah, “what the hell is that?” Today, subtitles, tomorrow they’ll be serving kimchi instead of popcorn. Trump also made a reference to Sunset Boulevard. I wonder what intrigues him about that film? Perhaps the fact that a delusional character, living in her past, buys the company of a young man? That sounds Trumpian. Maybe he sees his future in that movie, when he’ll be the next Norma Desmond, living in a bubble world of his own fame and past glory, and planning his come back. Blow back was swift and biting. It's bringing up Gone With the Wind that raises this from simple xenophobic ignorance to real dada racism. — Jeet Heer (@HeerJeet) February 21, 2020 I bet he didnt like the ending of "Gettysburg" — Jennifer Rubin (@JRubinBlogger) February 21, 2020 Trump talks far more harshly about South Korea than North Korea. And of course he loves pro-Confederate “Gone With the Wind.” Very telling. — Max Boot (@MaxBoot) February 21, 2020 Interesting that Trump would pick one movie made 81 years ago, Gone With the Wind, and another movie made 70 years ago, Sunset Boulevard, for mention. That is quite a while back and both society and cinema have come many light years since those films were made. And granted, these are great motion pictures and certainly were feted in their time. GWTW is a classic love story. It was massively popular as WWII was ramping up in Europe, because it portrayed the destruction of a culture ravaged by war. Production values for the time were outstanding and it was the winner of eight Academy Awards. But alas, it has fallen into disrepute for it’s whitewashed and romanticized vision of […]

Saving Private Bonespurs and Other Trump Movie Titles Trending on Twitter

#ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump is up and trending today. All you have to do is replace Trump with a movie title — and add a picture, if you like. As ridiculous as Trump is in “real” life, transposing his persona to the silver screen does yield some gems. Here are some of the favorites so far. Forrest Trump. #ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump — Kalecgos (@piousbrony) February 17, 2020 Goodfelons#ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump — Celebriety – Get Clear (@andfeelgood) February 17, 2020 Clear and president danger #ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump — Karen cooper (@i_am_k_cooper) February 17, 2020 How about “White Men Can’t Trump?” and “Trump White and the Seven Nazis?” Here’s a good one, “Trumpback Mountain.” Or this, “Saving Private Bonespurs.” Trumpmageddon#ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump — Robin Moore (@robinv0001) February 17, 2020 The Wizard of Fraud #ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump — Olive Stem (@olivestemstrong) February 17, 2020 #ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump Impeachment Day — Kidar Wolf (@KidarWolf) February 17, 2020 Comb Me If You Can #ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump — Medic Dave (@DavidLo27560362) February 16, 2020 Fat and Furious #ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump — Impeached King Trump* the 3rd (@realTrumpClone) February 16, 2020 The Devil Wears Tanner#ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump — εѵα ✨ (@minervastreep) February 16, 2020 THE BIG ZELENSKYYou don't think it was a perfect call?Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.#ReplaceMovieTitleWithTrump — Thinking About It (@Jorlev_11) February 17, 2020 And the tweet goes on. Any ideas for a movie title? Share them in the comments.
Blogtrepreneur / Flickr Computer Data Hacker...

‘Came For The Politics, Stayed For The Sex’ – Don’t Let The Spam Bots...

I knew 2020 would be an interesting year on PolitiZoom, but didn’t think we’d be dealing with spam bots peddling porn on the site. “Emma” will be cast into oblivion soon enough, if she hasn’t been already. In any event, if you haven’t read Emma’s contributions, there are comments in most of today’s articles about a website where we can all find sex partners. I hit the link and it was rank. God. I had to clean off my computer screen, it was so foul. – I started getting concerned emails a few hours ago and I wrote back, “Maybe this will become our motto around here: ‘Came for the politics, stayed for the sex.’” Hey, you get lemons, you make lemonade. – Now porn is an industry with which I have more than a nodding acquaintance, believe it or not. I watched the entire “canon” of pornography available in the seventies, and I was actually “discovered” and asked to appear in a Marilyn Chambers opus in the early 80’s. Seriously. Take a stroll down memory lane with me. As you might expect, how all this happened is another opus from the You Can’t Make This Shit Up file. – The year was 1977. I was friends with a couple, Glenn and Bobbie. They were getting their Ph.D.s in philosophy at the University of Denver. They both needed a job badly. I remember being at their apartment on a few occasions and staying over and in the morning we’d decide to go have breakfast at the coffee shop where it cost $1.49. And they would literally sell a few of their stereo records to get breakfast money. They were the poster children for starving students. – So, they finally had to seriously look for employment and they called me up one day to say that they had found nirvana and said, “You must come down and celebrate with us,” and they gave me an address. I didn’t know that Nirvana was the name of an adult-movie motel on Colfax. So, I got there and went to the door and Glenn was already there to open it. They had seen me on the security camera, I was told. – They invited me in and told me of their tremendous good fortune in landing a job managing this motel which screened porn movies 24/7/365. Their compensation included a two bedroom apartment, and while it was modest, a little bungalow set apart from the rows of motel rooms, it was palatial compared to where they had lived before. They also got a salary. The only restriction put on them was that one of them had to be on the premises at all times. That was fine with them. All they wanted from life was to write their dissertations. They never went out much anyhow. So, this literally was nirvana, shangri-la, you name it. And the owner of the place was in heaven, too. He had a couple of nice, middle class kids, college students no less, with manners and good heads on their shoulders, to manage his property. This became an asset, actually, when the mafioso showed up. More about that later. – Their job duties were quite modest and doable. They had to check in guests, from 11:00 a.m. to 2:00 a.m., collect […]

‘Santa Jaws’ Is The Funniest Present You’ll Get This Year

Friends and fellow Zoomers, we at PolitiZoom have taken a sacred vow to direct our readers to those artistic efforts which are so horrifically bad, that they’re great — not to mention hilarious — and to award such nefarious offerings, all at the same time. Few cinematic efforts are worthy of our highest honor, the Zoscar, (a statue in the shape of a furry white bear paw with prominent claws, otherwise known as a “FawPaw”) but this year one film has distinguished itself and will take home the prize. This epic is called “Santa Jaws.” It was produced by the same people who brought us “Sharknado” a masterpiece which tried to hire Donald Trump to play the president of the United States, before reality took a deranged fork in the road and  he got the honor for real and was unavailable to play it on the silver screen. And believe us, the writers of “Sharknado” could not dream up scenarios and dialogue remotely approaching the bizarro alternate universe that Trump has provided us extemporaneously, albeit unintentionally. Twas the night before Christmas and all through the reefNot a creature was swimming in fear of those teeth. The fear of carnage and destruction filled everyone with dreadFor Santa Jaws was coming and they all would soon be dead. — ????Plague Daddy???? (@Arrogant_Shark) December 24, 2019 "Ho, Ho, Ho, you son of a Fish." Santa Jaws (2018) — ???? Alfred Murphy ???? (@AlfredMurphy99) December 24, 2019 Feast your eyes and ears and be glad that smell-o-vision hasn’t been invented yet, because this movie really stinks. Go over to SyFy, without further ado and hear how the ominous ba bomp music as the shark swims through the water has been replaced with jingle bells. Seriously, you have to see this. The runner up for this year’s Zoscar was a late entry for worst movie of the year, and a definite contender for worst movie of the decade, the screen version of “Cats!” I predicted that horror months ago. Here’s what I wrote in July, when the first trailer came out. Turns out I was right. Rolling Stone gave “Cats!” zero stars. They called it, “a Broadway musical straight out of the litter box” Ouch. Let the sheer grinding monotony of Cats stand as a measuring stick for future cinematic takes on Broadway musicals that hope to match its unparalleled, bottom-feeding dreadfulness. In his prize-winning Angels in America, playwright Tony Kushner wrote a scene in which the rat-bastard lawyer Roy Cohn is on the phone sucking up to a client who wants tickets to a Broadway smash. When the caller says, “Cats,” Cohn sticks his fingers down his throat and mock vomits. Look for that gesture to be repeated by all who must endure this hellish fiasco of a film version. This disaster of a movie shouldn’t happen to a dog. The Los Angeles Times calls it a “CGI generated horror.” Take :37 and check out this travesty. CATS (2019) OFFICIAL TRAILER // THEATER AUDIENCE REACTION#CatsMovie — Will Tempfer (@wtempfer) July 19, 2019 Seriously, when top critics start echoing and amplifying the sentiments of your humble reviewer here at PZ, namely myself, when the spirit of Addison DeWitt (remember the evil theater critic in “All About Eve?”) descends upon me, you know that a show is a castastrophic bomb — no pun […]
The View / YouTube Stormy Daniels announces new book ...

Stormy Daniels Rocks Out With Rapper YG to His Tune, ‘F**k Donald Trump’

Porn mixed with politics in 2016 and in 2019, rap has been added to the mix. Stormy Daniels was yukking it up onstage in Los Angeles recently with Rapper YG, and the lyrics are ones that we sing in our hearts every day. Mediaite: YG, whose real name is Keenon Jackson, handed Daniels a mic during his performance at the Camp Gnaw Flog Carnival at Los Angeles’ Dodger Stadium and asked her to recount her experience with the president, whom she claims to have had an affair with in 2006; Trump denies this allegation, despite his former personal lawyer Michael Cohen pleading guilty last year to paying out $130,000 in hush money to the adult film star in an attempt to keep her quiet during the 2016 election. “My name is Stormy fucking Daniels and I am the reason that Donald Trump is fucked,” Daniels said as YG’s raucous fans cheered and applauded. So. This happened tonight. — Stormy Daniels (@StormyDaniels) November 11, 2019 Catchy little tune, has a real primal resonance about it. The words hit me where I live. I think we should blast this out of speakers and have it on the screens in sports bars on November 3, 2020.  

John Cleese Calls Trump ‘Extraordinary Caricature Of An A$$hole’ Predicts America Shall Prevail

John Cleese and Eric Idle know a farce when they see one, they are celebrating 50 years of Monty Python this month. They both live in America and have for some time. They also remember Watergate all too well, and recently they kicked in their two cents about the Trump “shitshow.” Daily Beast: “It’s been quite clear to me from the very beginning that he is not mentally balanced,” Cleese says of Trump. “He is an extraordinary caricature of an asshole; a person who has no interest in anyone else except himself. Every time he makes a decision, no matter how impulsive it is, it’s the one that makes him feel best about himself for the next 20 minutes. But I think he is now for the first time, because he is really becoming a disaster in foreign affairs, I think some Republicans are beginning to notice it. But the people who support him are basically so ignorant, because they only ever get news from Fox News, I don’t know what you say to people like that. To me, it’s like people who go and watch professional wrestling and don’t realize that it’s fixed. If they can’t see it when it’s right under their nose, I have no idea how they’re going to realize how wrong they are.” Idle agrees. “He’s stark raving mad. Absolutely mental. He’s a criminal and a con artist and a mob boss.” But he has faith in America. “America was founded by people who drew up a Constitution that accounted for somebody like Trump,” he says. “They wrote down laws to guard against it. They don’t have that in England. And that’s why they’re in the mess they’re in over there.” Nice to hear the vote of confidence, but on the other hand, it’s not entirely clear that the constitution was written with the thought of a charlatan like Trump in mind. Plenty of people worry that the advent of Trump has opened the door for more of his self-serving, predatory capitalist ilk to come in, media charmed as he was, and do the same thing. Idle and Cleese then shared ruminations from Watergate. “When we were first touring here, in Canada, actually, the impeachment hearings were on,” Idle says. “It was amazing and riveting. But it was a lesson in how resilient America is, too. William Barr is nothing more than this era’s John Mitchell, and you can see how well that turned out for him.” For his part, Cleese has less faith in the Republicans in Congress. “This is the best job they’re ever going to get,” Cleese says, emphatically. “The better-known ones will go on living well, of course. But the rest of them will have to go back to being assistant manager in a shoe shop!” “They’re terrified of Trump, sure,” contends Idle. “But do you know what they’re really terrified of? If you think the Russians only hacked Hillary Clinton and the DNC, you’re a fool. They hacked everyone! The RNC, Mitch McConnell and, especially, Lindsey Graham. That’s why they’re all so docile. But don’t be fooled that they’re doing this out of allegiance to Trump, or even because they fear his base. They’re afraid of what Russia has on them!” Cleese has an interesting bottom line, one that’s at odds […]