I swear, I’m not really that big of a dumb ass. But can I help it if every time I reach a totally logical conclusion, some paddlefoot comes clomping in and demolishes the whole thing, like it’s a six-year-old’s sand castle? Although it seems like forever ago in the Land of the Misfit Mango, it was only a couple of weeks ago that I wrote that the battle lines for the 2020 August recess seemed drawn. 2020 would be the Democratic equivalent of the GOP 2009 ACA town hall hijackings. In 2009, activists took over incumbent town halls with screams of “socialized medicine,” and “death panels for Granny!” And that’s the way I saw 2020 shaping up, only this time with Democrats at the helm, storming their own incumbent’s town halls to loudly demand that impeachment hearings begin for Donald Juan Trump just as soon as Congress could reconvene. And early reporting was confirming that premise, with activists charting town halls on calendars, and making sure that activists would be there, GOP town halls as well as Democratic ones, making their feelings on impeachment known. Well, there goes another perfectly good plan, shot to shit. Did you ever notice how hard it is to catch a fly, with the way they keep changing direction on a dime, and never ending up quite where you and the fly swatter thought they’d be? Well, welcome to activism in Trumpmenistan, you gotta be quick on your feet, and you’ve got to be adaptable, because the best laid plans are subject to change without notice. It all began about a month ago. Trump started out with a perfectly sane political strategy of painting Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and the rest of The Squad as far left ideologues, and trying to make them the face of the “new” Democratic party ahead of 2020. But of course, having the social skills of a honey badger, Trump couldn’t contain himself. He had to make it personal, he had to make it racial, and he had to make it sexist. And when His Lowness told the whole damn bunch of ’em to “go back where they came from,” the racism pot went to simmer. But with Trump, racism is like eating one salted peanut. Next, he had to haul off on House Oversight chair Elijah Cummings, as well as the entire city of Baltimore. And since he was on a roll, he threw in cities like Chicago, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and New York. All places, you’ll notice, where he won’t bother campaigning. If it were possible, Trump would have signed executive orders making them independent nations, just so he could refer to them as “shithole countries.” And the racism pot hit boil. And then last Saturday, one week ago today: A white supremacist piece of shit drives 10 hours to El Paso, fuels up with breakfast to make sure his aim is good, an then strolls into a Walmart like he owns the place, and kills 22 innocent people and injures 24 more. His reason? As a retaliation for the immigrant “invasion” turning Texas into a vassal state of Mexico, and as a warning to future invaders. You know, the ones that President Bone Spurs has been bitching about constantly? He referred specifically to it in some racist dung he posted online, […]
Aloha Democratic 2020 Presidential hopefuls! Howz it going guys and gals? Y’all should be feeling your oats right about now. The eight of you who have already qualified for the September debates should be on top of the world. Your message is obviously resonating, and you’ve made it through the round of 64, the round of 32, and the round of 16. Time to start buffing your stuff up to military high gloss shine. After all, the world is watching. And for those of you departing us, we’ll see you again in four or eight years, and don’t forget your copy of the home game! But please, you surviving candidates, do me a favor. Lighten up! Dear Lord, in these dark, cloying, racist days of Donald Trump, people want some hope that there’s a glimmer of light at the end of the white supremacist tunnel. It’s hard to look calm and reassuring when you’re scowling and yelling into a camera! Hell, I’m starting to think that I’m watching out takes from Paddy Chayefsky’s Network here. Go ahead. Crack a smile. I guarantee that your cheeks will spring back afterwards, you won’t spent the rest of your lives looking like The Joker. Let ‘er rip. In the last two debates, I only saw a grand total of four “happy warriors” on that stage over the two nights. Amy Klobuchar, Elizabeth Warren, Andrew Yang, and Cory Booker. And only two of them, Klobuchar and Yang, refused to fall into CNN’s trap and trash their competitors. That’s it. Granted, Joe Biden actually cracked a smile, but that was in response to something Cory Booker said, so it doesn’t count. Hey, my column, my rules. The rest of you folks stood around on stage like you were waiting for your Metamucil to kick in. You people should be having the time of your lives, after all, you’re running for the office of President of the United States, the ultimate prize. You’ll notice that I said that you’re running for President. You know what running means, right? It means that you’re in a race, not a demolition derby. When you run in a race, you’re not running against the people in the other lanes, they’re ancillary to the process. You’re running for your personal best. And that means putting out your top level, best effort. Either it will be good enough, or it won’t, but it’s your best. Besides, elbowing the guy in the lane next to you is a sure fire way to get disqualified, by the only judges that matter. Nobody likes a spoilsport, or they’d be Trump supporters. Make your contrasts, but make them with Trump, and not so much with each other. Remember, sending the foul mouthed canary back to his gilt bird cage on Fifth Avenue is still the #1 qualification for Democratic primary voters. Talk about your healthcare plan, but then talk about how His Lowness wants to strip coverage from 30 million Americans, and put another 100 million back to the tender mercies of the mercenary insurance companies. Talk about criminal justice reform, and then make sure to talk about Tubby the Ewok, the paid shill that Trump has running the Justice Department. Talk about election security, and then remind everybody that we only have to talk about it because Trump is doing a Stormy Daniels on Vlad the […]
As I write this, Trump is on the ground in Dayton, stop one of his “Greatest Shits” tour. Maybe he can stop by and autograph the Trump Baby Blimp, that would be a nice gesture. For four long years now, I’ve long held the belief that the only things that Trump could unite were his upper plate and his lower plate, preferably through the middle of a bacon double cheeseburger. That just goes to show what an incredible dumb ass I can be when I put my mind to it. But it turns out that The Mango Messiah has grown wonderfully into the job of Uniter in Chief. Just cast your mind back a scant month or so. What was happening? Well, Nancy Pelosi was engaged in a school yard pissing contest with the unsinkable Alexandria Ocasio- Cortez, and by association, with the rest of The Squad as well. It was quite the little squabble, and the GOP was lapping it up like a kitten with a pint of cream, gloating about how AOC and her crew were tearing the soul of the Democratic party apart, radicalizing it for the election. And then what happened. Well, in the words of one sage journalist, “The Democratic caucus was in a traditional Democratic circular firing squad, and into the middle wandered Donald Trump, and focused all of the incoming on him.” And that’s exactly what happened. With his racist Trumper tantrum against Ilhan Omar and the rest of The Squad, Trump united not just Pelosi and AOC, but the entire Democratic caucus. Pelosi and AOC held their secret summit, and while I’m sure there are still swollen fee-fee’s on both sides, they’ve buried the hatchet somewhere else but each other, and are presenting a united front against Il Douche. Now fast forward your minds to two weeks ago. The Democratic Presidential primary field, after a couple of debates hosted by CNN moderators who obviously wanted to bulk up their resumes to go along with their applications for spots at FOX News, tore each other apart in front of millions of people. Speed dial to four days ago. Twenty-two people, many of Mexican or Hispanic heritage are murdered in an El Paso Walmart, and twenty-four more are injured. And where does the attention immediately shift? To the racist diatribes of Emperor Numbus Nuttus, thanks in large part to the identical insane rantings contained in the steaming pile of shit that the El Paso murderer posted online within an hour of committing his atrocity. And instantly, every Democratic candidate on the stump is united, locked arm-in-arm against Trump and his hateful, racist rhetoric, which are tearing the country apart. This is what I keep writing about. The election is now less than 15 months away, and you can pretty well set your watch by the fact that on more or less a monthly basis, Der Gropinfuror is going to pull some insane shit that unites the entire Democratic party, along with the rest of the right thinking world, against him. Hey, dog’s gotta howl, right. But now is when every Democratic presidential candidate, as well as all congressional and Senate challengers, should make hay while the sun shines. Get your A#1, top of the line, bestest sound bites ready, and get them caught on camera. […]
It shows you how far we’ve fallen as a nation when an incumbent president who has alienated our allies, fomented domestic terrorism, and is now wreaking economic havoc with his ignorant and ill-advised trade warthi, is still considered a contender for reelection — but that’s the case; at least according to Senator Harry Reid. Daily Beast: “I’m pretty damn worried,” the former Senate majority leader said in an interview with The Daily Beast last week, a day before deadly shootings in El Paso and Dayton. “Anybody that thinks he’s going to be beaten easily is wrong. As sad as it is. As hard as it is for me to say this: don’t count that man out.” “He’s carried the term bullshit as far as it will go,” Reid said at one point, offering the slightest chuckle in appreciation of the line he’d just delivered. “I’ve never known a human being in a position of prominence that you can do nothing to damage his ego in any way. It is absolutely unbelievable.” But in Reid’s worldview, Trump is a lost cause: a political figure whose output no one—not even White House staff—can reasonably seek to influence or control. Reid also spoke kindly of Mitt Romney, for at least occasionally standing up to Donald Trump, and I think I know where he’s coming from. In this era of GOP enablers, anybody who even partially takes a stance against Trump is to be favorably noted. That’s the level of cowardice to which the GOP has sunk. Reid disparaged Lindsey Graham, who he said used to be one of his “favorites” a man that he once admired for his independent stance on immigration reform. “He was really, as my dad would say, he was a man. Well, you’re not now. He’s a boy.” I can’t speak for Graham, but if, at the end of the day, I could only have the respect of my old Senate colleague Harry Reid or be yet another sycophant to the racist realtor from Queens, the choice would be obvious. For reasons only he knows, Graham’s chosen the wrong side of history. One hopes that whatever money or kompromat is coming from Russia is worth it. It seems to me that the price tag is his soul.
I love capitalism. Mitch McConnell is still squirming from his “Moscow Mitch” nickname, and Kentucky Democrats are taking it all the way to the bank. Good for them. For some reason, McConnell’s most recent nickname rankles him. He didn’t mind “Cocaine Mitch.” As a matter of fact, he enjoyed it, and sold tee shirts with the moniker himself, at $34 a pop. Cocaine Mitch arose because drugs were allegedly found on a ship owned by a company in which McConnell’s wife’s family had an interest. McConnell also enjoyed “Grim Reaper” and made a joke out of it. “For the first time in my memory I agree with Nancy Pelosi.” But Moscow Mitch is different. You remember McConnell’s speech a few days ago, to a mostly empty chamber, railing about McCarthyism, and “lies.” That being the case, it’s most likely that the Moscow Mitch paraphernalia which has flooded Kentucky for two days, swelling the coffers of the Kentucky Democratic Party’s war chest, is yet another burr under his saddle. And who broke the story? Would you believe Fox News? Capitalizing on McConnell’s ire, the Kentucky Democratic Party on Wednesday rolled out an array of “Moscow Mitch” merchandise online, including a T-shirt, a hat, drinkware, stickers and buttons. Nearly all items come with the phrase “Just say nyet! to Moscow Mitch.” “People are sick of [McConnell’s policies], and this is their way of expressing their outrage,” Kentucky Democratic Party spokeswoman Marisa McNee said in a press release. “This campaign has really caught the imagination of voters in Kentucky and across the country.” The Kentucky Democrat Party said it’s gotten orders for the merchandise from all 50 states and the District of Columbia. A Kentucky Journalist named Marshall Ward coined the phrase “Moscow Mitch” in an editorial he did April 24 for a local paper. Braidy Industries, a Kentucky aluminum mill, accepted a $200Mil investment from Rusal, a Russian firm. Rusal is owned by Oleg Deripaska, whom you may remember used to finance a great many of Paul Manafort’s projects. The Treasury Department decided to lift sanctions on Rusal in January, and then shortly thereafter, all that money flowed into Kentucky. Coincidence, much? At the very least, it might explain why McConnell got so hot under the collar when called “Moscow Mitch.” The optics of this are lousy, to say the very least, and to that end Braidy Industries retained the services of a public relations firm run by one of McConnell’s former staffers to put these issues in a more positive light. Rotsa ruck. What is hilarious about this, is that John McCain accused Kentucky’s other senator, Rand Paul, of being in cahoots with Russia, in March of 2017, when Paul objected to the inclusion of Montenegro into NATO. Here’s a snip from a piece I wrote then. The quoted material is a transcript from C-SPAN. “You are achieving the objectives of Vladimir Putin… trying to dismember this small country which has already been the subject of an attempted coup.” McCain continued: “If they object, they are now carrying out the desires and ambitions of Vladimir Putin and I do not say that lightly.” ____________ Them’s fightin’ words apparently because the good senator from Kentucky put down his mic and stalked out of the room. ____________ “I note the senator from Kentucky leaving the floor without justification or any […]
This is the end, my only friend, the end. Jim Morrison I hope you’re enjoying the Democratic primaries so far. Personally, I was enjoying it a lot more until CNN came clomping in like your golden retriever after a thunderstorm, spraying mud all over the house, but hell, it will wash off. But the thing to remember about the primaries is that it’s a finite process. Sooner or later, there will be a winner, and the it’s on to the general election. And if you’re a political junkie like I am, I really hope you enjoy this one. Because this is going to be one for the ages. Ali vs. Foreman I, The Hulk vs. Andre the Giant, Alien vs. Predator. This will be the clash of the titans, the thing you suffered through the other hour and forty five minutes of the movie for, and it had better be satisfying, because after it’s done, there will never be another one quite like it. Or most likely, nothing even close. Because, one way or the other, on the day after election day, everything changed, for good. For as long as any of us have been alive, and long before that, there have always been two parties, the Republican party, and the Democratic party. And on the day after the election there will still be the Republican party and the Democratic party, but going forward they will become different parties than what we have become used to. Because the parties themselves are changing, from the inside. Biden wins the nomination. Warren wins the nomination. Sanders wins the nomination. It really doesn’t matter which one if they do, because it’s the last hurrah for all of them. They’ll never run for President again, their time is past. Jim Clyburn, Elijah Cummings, Steny Hoyer, the elder statesmen of the party, are now mentors for the next generation of Democrats. Hell, even The Grand Fame of Democratic politics, Nancy Pelosi, had to accept a two term limit, and putting younger members into positions of power to train them, in order to hoist the gavel one more time. The Democratic party is becoming younger, and steadily more progressive. The party is once again striving to become the party of the possible as opposed to the party of the practical. The Democratic party that we are watching begin to blossom now is the party of John F Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, and The Great Society.The party that brought the country the landmark civil right legislation, Social Security and Medicare. The party of bold ideas, and the will to carry them through. And yes, a party not beholden to special interests as in the past, because these new Democrats didn’t rely on them to get elected in the first place. Is the party going too far left, becoming too radical, and turning off the center left voters they need to survive and thrive? No, I don’t think so. Because even without the staying hands of Hoyer, Clyburn, and Pelosi, there is still a steadying influence in the party, For every Alexandria Ocasio Cortez and Rashida Tlaib out there there are 2-3 Lucy McBath’s or Abigail Spanberger’s, who became involved in politics with a more centrist point of view to start with. Are there going to be arguments, debates, and screaming matches? As Caribou Barbie likes […]
Life is nothing more than a script revision to Donald Trump. It’s no secret that he lacks values and ideals and is swayed by the last person he talks to on a subject on any given day. Today’s plot twist in the sick daytime soap that you and I call politics, is to rekindle the ill-fated bromance of Trump and Steve Bannon. Yes, it may bloom anew, due to an interview Bannon gave on CNBC, saying how the Democrats had no chance of beating Donald Trump, because of his terrific policies on China and Joe Biden and Kamala Harris’ bad ones. This is the song that Trump longs to hear, and Bannon was singing it today. You may recall that back in the day, Steve Bannon had an turbulent relationship with Javanka, never a recipe for longevity, but it was his alleged contribution to Michael Wolff’s best seller that gave Javanka the ammunition they needed to ax him. Trump turned, Bannon was no more, and the hashtag “Sloppy Steve” was born. You mean, this guy–Sloppy Steve? Hahahaha–you're pathetic. pic.twitter.com/83frLNEKz4 — Liz (@LizNBntown) August 2, 2019 White House was “bad,” like really “bad karma.” When Steve Bannon’s spiritual sensitivity is triggered, you know that the atmosphere is PURE EVIL. /end — Tara ❤️🇺🇸🦅 (@TaraHenderson31) August 2, 2019 Whether he cried and begged for his job, notwithstanding, now he’s the man of the hour. Click the button on the tweet above and listen to 2:19 seconds of pure hilarity. Plot spoiler: Michael Bloomberg and Hillary Clinton are going to enter the presidential race in the fall. Oh.My.God. Now, what may be going on here, as incredible as it seems, is that Bannon may have decided that he can catch lightning in a bottle twice, and he may be sucking up to become part of the Trump reelection campaign — which would be amusing, since Jared is now heading that up. But then Donald Jr. wanted to be in charge and he hates his brother-in-law and so does Bannon and so Donald Jr. and Bannon could join forces and….you see where the story arc is going. So, back for a return engagement, after a time in the wilderness, cometh Steve Bannon, with his barroom tan and his Bigfoot demeanor. My take on it? God, I hope so. We can use the comic relief. And I can’t wait to see how he overcomes some of his great one liners like, “Trump will fail when people realize he’s just another scumbag.” That should be epic.
Good for Michael Tomasky for getting down to brass tacks about the political self-immolation displayed by Democrats Wednesday night, wherein the most popular president in modern history, Barack Obama, with a 97% approval rating amongst Democrats, as we speak, got dragged through the mud so that Democratic nominees could take shots at front runner Joe Biden. Which guy is the enemy here? Who do we need to defeat? The Russian puppet and his Republican enablers, who are undermining the foundations of all our institutions daily, like a plague of radioactive termites? Or Barack Obama? Because as Tomasky opines, you wouldn’t have known the answer from listening to Wednesday’s debate and all the Obama bashing. Daily Beast: Wednesday’s debate ended up being far more about Obama’s record than Trump’s. In fact, except for the rehearsed opening and closing statements, Obama came in for more criticism than Trump. This is absolute madness. And it’s political suicide. Thank God for at least one clear thinker amongst us. I have said from the outset of this political cycle that this election is the Democrats to win or to screw up, and after Wednesday’s performance, I was seriously afraid that the latter might be the direction in which we’re going. There are two points that need to be borne in mind, here: First and foremost, this is not a normal election. This is a referendum of Donald Trump and our one and only shot to save American life as we know it. I do not believe that to be a histrionic statement, I believe it to be true. If Trump gets in for a second term, the economic havoc that he is already wreaking, will be just that much more profound and difficult to reverse. If you thought Dubya drove us over the cliff, just wait. As to America’s status in the world, if Trump is reelected, you can kiss that goodbye and say hello to a new world order. I don’t mean that phrase in the conspiracy theory sense of the word, the emergence of a totalitarian, one world government, but rather in the sense of a period of history evidencing a dramatic change in world political thought and the balance of power; similar to what we experienced after WWII. In the eventuality of eight years of Trump, America will not only lose a lot of world markets, which truthfully, we may have already lost, but we will never regain face on the world stage again as a preeminent power. A reelection of Trump will make the statement that white supremacy trumps the melting pot, that we are a stupid and base people, no longer an exceptional one, and that we have devolved to a very low common denominator. Secondly, granting for the sake of argument that the foregoing is true, the Democratic primary process cannot be business as usual, either. It’s a normal thing in politics, granted, that the front runner gets bashed. However, in today’s polarized political climate, whatever the Democrats do we need to present a unified front. Yes, there can be some squabbling over policy, but in the main, all of the candidates need to focus on the task at hand which is defeating Donald Trump. There is no other issue. These are not normal times. That’s my two cents, here’s Tomasky’s: Understand me: My […]
Well, this should be fun. We’re still six months from the first primary vote being cast, and already the tilt-a-whirl that is the Trump presidency is pitching riders like they forgot to install seat belts on the damn thing. There are already six Republican House incumbents who have announced that they won’t be running for reelection next year, and they haven’t even sounded the general alarm to man the life boats yet. This is not a new development in the reign of Emperor Numbus Nuttus. In 2018 there were a shocking number of GOP retirements, and this year looks like it might be shaping up to be more of the same. And worse yet for the Republicans is that it isn’t just low level incumbents jumping ship. Mike Conaway is the ranking member of the House Intelligence Committee, and the GOP lost multiple committee chairs last year. There are several reasons why an incumbent may choose to vote with his or her feet rather than to run again. They may decide to bail rather than risk a bruising primary fight due to the fact that they have displeased Il Douche in the past. Also, being a House member in the minority is not much fun, since, unlike in the Senate, with the filibuster, you’re basically powerless. And some of them may feel that they can no longer tolerate the stench of being associated with Trump. That may well be true here, since four of the districts being vacated are rated as “safe” Republican. The Democrats had some good success in flipping these suddenly empty seats in 2018, including some flips that could qualify as “shockers.” But regardless of why the seat opens up, there are significant consequences for both parties, and they’re well worth remembering and considering. On the Republican side, the experience is a guaranteed bumm-aire, on many levels First, the party is losing an experienced campaigner, with district wide name recognition, a district office staff and campaign structure already in place, and an already set and up and running donor base. Next, the GOP is going to have to go through the process of finding a suitable replacement candidate and educating them to the ins and outs of campaigning, and fundraising. And third, the party is going to have to expend manpower resources and send money to get these fledgling candidates up and running effectively Which means less resources and money available for other, higher risk races they’d like to defend. On the Democratic side, an incumbent taking a parachute ride is like that first day of spring after a long, hard winter. The main reason is retention. Right now, an incumbent in either party has an average 93% chance of being reelected. basically, unless you get caught on video fondling the neighbor, once you’re in, you’re in, until you decide to leave. The reasons it’s so hard to run against an incumbent are the ones I listed above. Name recognition, an already existing district staff and campaign apparatus, and a ready-to-tap donor base. But when a seat opens up, that incumbent edge disappears. A Democratic challenger is now on a much more level playing field with his or her opponent. And there are several advantages for the Democrats besides taking the incumbent edge out of the picture. In the […]
Moscow Mitch. Just two simple words, but oh, how they warm the heart. Those two words are devastating for Mitch McConnell. They’re simple. They’re direct. They’re catchy. They stick in the memory. And they lend themselves to the kinds of images that the Democrats are putting on t-shirts, bumper stickers, mugs and glasses, and billboards, and raising a ton of money off of. And oh, yeah. For a guy in s deeply conservative state that doesn’t like Russians much, has been in the Senate for 35 years, and is running against a former female Marine fighter pilot? Good luck with that one. And now apparently, while I was sacked out, #LeningradLindsey is climbing up the charts. Again, a deep red state, with a large older population who remember the Cold War, and a candidate with long years in the Senate who panders to a President who has his head so far up Putin’s ass that he can see his lungs, it can be wonderfully effective. And the mere thought that Trump’s bromance with Putin could lead to even the possible removal of two of the biggest thorns in the Democrats side just makes it that much more satisfying. I hope that the Democrats running for President are paying attention. And not just to the Russian themed hashtags, although the more they use them in their speeches, the more firmly they tie those barbed wire bow-ties around McConnell and Graham’s necks. I hope they’re paying attention to the concept that is turning out to be so wonderfully effective, the quick, catchy, long lasting bumper sticker phrase. Because that can help with something that all of the Democratic nominees are currently struggling with. Messaging. Just look at the two most recent debates. On Tuesday and Wednesday night, the candidates spent a combined 80 minutes dealing with the healthcare issue alone, more than enough time to make their points. And out of that hour and twenty minutes of talking time, how much of it resulted in a clear, concise, easy to understand and follow discussion about the candidates healthcare plans? I’d say about a buck forty eight. Tops And that’s being generous. In their quest to savage the other guy’s plans, and to show the brilliance of their own, they got so far down into the weeds on things like “Insurance company greed” this, and “Big Pharma profits” that, and “zones of coverage” the other that it was incomprehensible! And it wasn’t just healthcare either. They did the same damn thing on immigration, the economy, and climate change and global warming.Because their basic plans just aren’t all that different, they tried to differentiate themselves by picking more nits than a mother gorilla with her baby. And it sucked. Look guys and girls, you aren’t speaking to a convention of climate change scientists, insurance company executives, or immigration attorneys. You’re speaking to the American people, and the American people really only want to know three things about all of this shit: what do I get out of it, what do I lose, and how much is it going to cost me. That’s what you have to concentrate on. Explain your plan simply, stick with the broad concept, what it does, and leave the nuts and bolts to the mechanics to install later. This is something […]