Mark December 7 on your calendar. It’s not only a day that will live in infamy, but one that will resound in the annals of absurdity as well, once Rudy Giuliani leaves his inimitable mark on it. Giuliani has been bounced from Fox News, at least until further notice, so he’s beginning a two-part series on Fox’s rival network, OAN, this weekend, entitled, “REVEALED: UKRAINIAN WITNESSES DESTROY SCHIFF’S CASE EXCLUSIVE WITH RUDY GIULIANI: PARTS 1 AND 2,” wherein he’ll share the fruits of his labors in Hungary and Ukraine this week. The series is hosted by OAN White House correspondent, Chanel Rion, best known for proselytizing conspiracy theories about Seth Rich and Pizzagate, when she isn’t busy penning anti-feminist children’s books or drawing anti-left political cartoons, amongst other swamp-fevered fantasies. Daily Beast: In October, Rion claimed that former FBI lawyer Lisa Page had an affair with former FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe. Rion’s vaguely sourced report went viral in corners of the right-wing blogosphere that has become obsessed with Page’s sex life and her connection to the investigation into the Trump campaign and Russia. But Rion’s network quietly retracted the entire story later that month. […] Before joining OAN in May, Rion developed some level of notoriety on the internet for her bizarre political cartoons, in a self-published set of online cartoons dubbed “The Left Edge.” In one, Rion promoted the conspiracy theory that Clinton was behind the unsolved murder of DNC staffer Rich, which police have concluded was a botched robbery. In another, she referenced “spirit cooking”—the baseless claim, popular with believers in the Pizzagate conspiracy theory, that top Democratic officials are involved in Satanic cannibalistic sacrifices. You know, this is one way of dealing with the Republicans. We could just bake ’em in a pie and eat ’em. Or, maybe we could do a fast food version of our cannibalistic cuisine. How about a Big Mitch burger, or some nice Dunkin Devins, with a coffee? Look, eating them has got to be better than listening to them, right? Now here’s my personal favorite from Rion’s album of Democratic delusions: Harry Reid is a visitor from beyond the stars, Planet Zoombo, to be precise. Dammit, how did she find out my home base? The Imperial Nawab is going to be very distressed when she hears about this. Not all of Rion’s cartoons promote conspiracy theories, but many of them are still strange. In one, former Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV), dressed as an alien, comes to Earth to criticize then-FBI Director James Comey. Reid is depicted as arriving in a UFO inexplicably labeled “Planet Zoombo.” In another, she called on “armed citizens to defend America from violent left,” claiming without evidence that Democrats were plotting assassinations. In one cartoon, Rion portrays the Academy Awards’ Oscar statue as a woman named “Oscareena.” “He claims his name is Oscareena and he wants the keys to the little girls’ peek-a-boo room,” one character in the cartoon says. This is a White House correspondent, okay? This is the level of intellect and ability that holds that title, in an era when the likes of Alex Jones was given press credentials to attend White House press briefings (back when we did such things) while Jim Acosta had his revoked, after a number of years on the job. OAN has credibility in this White House, […]
Open with your second best joke, and close with your best Rule of Comedy You know, you can spot ’em a mile away. They’re the ones who are so self contained and oblivious that they can sit there and watch a car skid off of the road in a rain storm, and then still try to do a power skid at 90 mph through the same curve. And the thing of it is, they’ll do the same damn thing again the next time around, in identical circumstances. Donald Trump just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t realize that his presidency is a freak of nature, a one time confluence of events that were a perfect alignment of a fluke. Like winning the championship at the buzzer with a 3/4 court shot, it can never be duplicated. Trump was the perfect “What the fuck” candidate at the exact moment people were fed up with the status quo, going up against a candidate who couldn’t even unite her own party, and still he lost. Until a hidden hand swept in and moved the goalposts. But in Donald Trump’s mind, he’s the greatest political genius since, oh, I don’t know, since ever? In Donald Trump’s mind, all he has to do to recreate the miracle of 2016 is to do exactly the same thing all over again, only more. Because, as a failed reality show host, Trump knows better than anybody that the longer the show runs, the wilder you have to get to sustain interest. But like that 3/4 court shot, Trump doesn’t realize that he can never recreate those exact conditions again. 2016 was his one shot at fortune and glory, and he made the most of it. In 2016 Trump went up against the perfect candidate. Trump didn’t have to be popular, although he was to his hardest core base, simply because Hillary Clinton was so unpopular with every Republican in the world. In 2016, Republicans would have voted for a serial sexual predator rather than another Clinton, and it turns out that they did. And Clinton carried just enough baggage with Democrats that when they thought it was in the bag, they just didn’t bother to show up to carry it over the finish line. Trump was able to drag Clinton down into the same most pit of unpopularity that he wallowed in nationally, simply because she was already almost there. And even if Bernie Sanders had won the 2016 primaries, I find it likely that Trump still would have won, simply because Sanders was such a divisive character in the Democratic party that Democrats would not have united strongly enough behind him either, for stealing Hillary’s shot at history. But you’re not in Kansas anymore, Dorothy. This isn’t 2016, it’s 2020. Hillary isn’t going to be on the ballot anymore, and Bernie isn’t very likely to be either. In 2016, nobody actually took you seriously, not even your own party, but in 2020, you’re as serious as a heart attack, buddy. Nobody is taking you or your racist base for granted anymore. And while the Democrats are still falling in love with their individual primary candidates, they seem to have gotten the memo. Polling continues to show that ehe Democrats as a party will fall in line with whomever the candidate is this time. Trump’s shtick is getting old. And even […]
Donald Trump has been sounding nuttier and nuttier in recent days, no question, tweeting about everything from his “perfect” “beautiful telephone call” to Zelensky, to talking about a soldier “with his face in a thousand fragments,” who wanted to “rebuild his nose.” But he really pulled out all the stops in his recent Minneapolis MAGA rally. Chuck Todd announced that Trump’s worst comments were not going to be broadcast on his network, because to do so would only amplify them and that would not be good journalism to do so, because they were so inappropriate. This is similar to the decision Nicole Wallace made a while back not to re-broadcast Trump tweets, for the same reason. It goes without saying that in the history of our country, journalists have never made a judgement call to withhold broadcasting a president’s words out of circumspection and good taste. However, I am going to quote a few pertinent portions of Trump’s travesty of a Minneapolis speech here, for two reasons: 1. It gives us a snapshot of what the 2020 election is going to look like, irregardless of who the Democratic nominee is: it’s going to make 2016 look sane and civil by comparison; and 2. it buttresses Paul Krugman’s argument, about how while we’re appalled on the one hand with Trump’s vulgar excess and unbelievable dialogue and rhetoric, on the other hand, we should be grateful for it, because Trump being Trump is in fact what is going to stop Trump — and that’s the only thing that matters, is that this madness stop. Full transcript of Trump’s Minneapolis speech, October 10, 2019 Donald Trump: (36:13) Two months after president Obama put Joe in charge of Ukraine policy, they put Joe Biden in charge of Ukraine policy. Listen to this. And the press will not write it. They say, “In totally unsubstantiated charges …” every time they talk about him. President Trump has said that his son walked away with a fortune. Now you know that’s a totally unsubstantiated charge. Really? It’s not an unsubstantiated, it’s fact. Joe’s son Hunter got thrown out of the Navy and then he became a genius on Wall Street in about two days. Donald Trump: (36:49) By the way, whatever happened to Hunter. Where the hell is he? Where’s Hunter? Hey fellows, I have an idea for a new t-shirt. I love the cops, but let’s do another t-shirt. Where’s Hunter? Where is he? Here’s Hunter, being examined by sleepy eyes Chuck Todd or some of these people. Hunter, it’s so great that you’re here, sir. Hunter, I know they’re giving you approximately $168,000 a month. I hear they paid you a big check of $3 million. I just want to speak on behalf of NBC who’s absolutely one of the worst. I just want to tell you … Hunter, Hunter I just want to tell you I couldn’t be happier for you and your family and I know you don’t know anything about energy and I know it’s an energy company, but I think they made a great deal, Hunter. And then they fly to China, and I’m dealing with people right now. They’re tough as hell, those Chinese negotiators, and Hunter, who’s not too smart, Hunter. He goes in, he has a meeting, he […]
The quality of Devin Nunes’ problems has just escalated out of the realm of fake cows and what he deemed the “circus” of the House impeachment inquiry. Congressman Nunes may be looking at an indictment for breaking federal law, by trying to solicit something of value to a political campaign from a foreign national. Rudy Giuliani’s henchman, Lev Parnas, is testifying that former Ukrainian prosecutor Victor Shokin met with Nunes in Vienna for the purpose of discussing digging up political dirt against Joe Biden. This is precisely what Fiona Hill spoke of with respect to Gordan Sondland, when she said that Sondland was doing a personal errand for Donald Trump whereas she and others were advancing a diplomatic agenda, and those two things had diverged, and were likely to “blow up.” Nunes was part of the contingent that was furthering Donald Trump’s personal political interests in Ukraine, not America’s. CNN: Congressional travel records show that Nunes and three aides traveled to Europe from November 30 to December 3, 2018. The records do not specify that Nunes and his staff went to Vienna or Austria, and Nunes was not required to disclose the exact details of the trip. – Nunes’ entourage included retired colonel Derek Harvey, who had previously worked for Trump on the National Security Council, and now works for Nunes on the House Intelligence Committee. Harvey declined to comment. – Bondy told CNN that Nunes planned the trip to Vienna after Republicans lost control of the House in the mid-term elections on Nov. 6, 2018. – “Mr. Parnas learned through Nunes’ investigator, Derek Harvey, that the Congressman had sequenced this trip to occur after the mid-term elections yet before Congress’ return to session, so that Nunes would not have to disclose the trip details to his Democrat colleagues in Congress,” said Bondy. – At the time of the trip, Nunes was chairman of the Intelligence Committee. In January, Democratic Rep. Adam Schiff took over as chairman of the powerful committee, which is now conducting the impeachment inquiry. Here’s where we run into two other names recently in the news with respect to investigating the Bidens, journalist John Solomon, who attacked Fiona Hill, shortly after she exposed the false narrative and conspiracy theory of Ukraine having a part in the 2016 election, and of course Lindsey Graham, because he, too, now wants to launch a formal investigation of the Bidens, as does Nunes. [Parnas’ attorney] Bondy says that according to his client, following a brief in-person meeting in late 2018, Parnas and Nunes had at least two more phone conversations, and that Nunes instructed Parnas to work with Harvey on the Ukraine matters. – Parnas says that shortly after the Vienna trip, he and Harvey met at the Trump International Hotel in Washington, where they discussed claims about the Bidens as well as allegations of Ukrainian election interference, according to Bondy. – Following this, Bondy says that in a phone conversation Nunes told Parnas that he was conducting his own investigation into the Bidens and asked Parnas for help validating information he’d gathered from conversations with various current and former Ukrainian officials, including Shokin. – Parnas says that Nunes told him he’d been partly working off of information from the journalist John Solomon, who had written a number of articles on the Biden conspiracy theory for the Hill, according to Bondy. Nunes has been asked […]
I love the smell of bigotry in the morning, it smells like comedy. An old white guy in Tennessee, who can barely speak English, and who is convinced that all his “white male” rights are being taken away from him, went off on Mayor Pete Buttigieg’s candidacy and the degeneracy of the Democratic party, in one fell swoop. This is classic. NEW: “We got a QUEER running for President… the white man has very few rights.” Watch @SevierCounty Commissioner Warren Hurst’s homophobic, bigoted outburst Monday, telling folks to “wake up”. Mayor’s office: 865-453-6136Hurst: 865-453-8513 WVLT: https://t.co/GFwJLqehUf pic.twitter.com/bfXrAACfPh — The Tennessee Holler (@TheTNHoller) October 22, 2019 “It’s time we wake up people, it’s time, it’s past time. We got a queer running for president, if that ain’t about as ugly as you can get. Look what we got running for president in the Democratic party. We can go over here to [the local] Hoss’ jail and get better people out of there than those running for Democratic [sic] to be president of the United States.” Maybe we should change the labels on our trains of thought in this country, from liberals and conservatives to accepting v. fearful — or get even more basic, smart v. stupid. I’ll be surprised if Donald Trump doesn’t give this guy a medal, he so typifies the degenerate strains in our culture, the same strains that put Trump in office. I was impressed with the woman who called bullshit and walked out. Now that’s where the hope of this country truly lies, is in the individual, standing up to these losers on a one-on-one basis and speaking out. That has always been the case in America and it is the case right now, in one of our darkest hours.
Former Republican congressman from Illinois, Joe Walsh, says that Donald Trump was elected by angry people, and this is why he gets away with what he does. Wednesday night’s rally in North Carolina should have been the tipping point, Walsh says, and Republicans should have started hopping off the band wagon, but they won’t, because they just don’t care. If you want to hear the whole clip, This is what he said on CNN Thursday, via RawStory: They don’t give a damn what he does, they don’t give a damn what he says…he lied about what he did in North Carolina last night. This is on him. When I tell my [radio show] listeners that…they say, “I don’t care that he lies. I hate the Democrats.” They don’t care that he lies almost every single time he opens his mouth, because he’s so angry. And you get what you got last night. As a former Republican member of Congress, it made me profoundly sad that the standard bearer of the Republican party, my party, is making “Send her back!” his campaign rallying cry. It’s ugly, it’s racist, it’s anti-American…it should have been denounced by the president last night, but he’s not capable of it. Walsh was then asked how much of Republican leaders not speaking out against this, because they don’t want to suffer Trump’s ire. They can’t stand what the president has unleashed, this big bowl of ugly. Privately, they are uncomfortable with what the president did last night. Bullcrap on being private uncomfortable. I’m sick of the private stuff. These Republicans have to get up the courage to stand up publicly and denounce this. If they don’t strongly, publicly denounce this un-American crap, Republicans are going to get wiped out in 2020. So, privately Republican leaders are uncomfortable, but publicly they’re gutless. Okay. Another former GOP rep, David Jolly of Florida, also went to town over the takeaways from Trump’s rally. We can’t forget that he single-handedly injected this poison into the mainstream of American politics. It is his fault. But you’re going to see Republicans devolve to love it or leave it. And in many ways I think it’s just as dangerous or more so than the chant “Send Her Back.” Love it or leave it suggests that you must agree with political leadership. It is anathema to everything this nation is founded on. Suggesting that Representative Omar must agree with an administration policy of putting kids in cages, or agree with injecting greater insecurity on the world stage, or agree with the president criminally obstructing justice in the Mueller investigation, or criminally engaging in campaign finance violations. And if she fails to agree, then she must leave.” It’s heartwarming that former Republican members of Congress see things this way. What will it take to wake up the current ones? Meanwhile, Trump will doubtlessly forge ahead with his version of George Orwell’s Two Minute Hate, because that’s exactly who he is.
Forewarned is forearmed 14th century Latin proverb So, you thought that with the Epstein moon once again circling Alpha Trumpori 1, we had finally reached the depths of the depravity of the Trump administration? Well, as Bachman-Turner-Overdrive used to warble, “B-b-b-baby, you just ain’t seen n-n-n-nuttin’ yet.” Although we are more than halfway through the first, and please Dios, only Trump term, the worst is yet to come. There are several reason why I say this, and while none of them are reassuring, they are all logical, and fit in with facts as we already know them. For starters, Trump is nothing if not predictable. Since the day he slowly farted his way through Gucci silk down that golden escalator in Trump Tower, to the adoring applause of paid “supporters, Trump’s pitch has been carefully crafted to be music only to the ears of the misbegotten souls who find his dreck palatable. He speaks to a forgotten, or unattended group of the downtrodden, chock-a-block replete with grievance, fear, and hatred. This is why Trump held so many rallies during the campaign, and holds so many now. He is constantly on the lookout for new, more sensational crimes and grievances to lay before his supporters. He uses these rallies not only because his insecurity requires constant ego gratification, but also as a sounding board for something new to rile up his llama brained followers. If he trots something out at a rally, and it stirs up the base, he’ll use it again and again. If it falls flat, he’ll try another one the next time. His followers tend to have the attention span of newborn puppies, so constant stimulation and distraction are required. Since his miraculous electoral college victory, Trump has stunned political historians, analysts, and talking heads for being the first President in history who, upon winning, did not pivot to the middle to increase his base to better his chances for reelection. Instead, Trump has relentlessly pivoted even further in the direction of his howling mob, and away from the mainstream. The problem with a pack of rabid dogs is that they require a steady supply of fresh meat. The impending ICE raids are just the opening salvo of a descending stairway of cruelty, especially to “the others.” Second. Trump is unchained. This occurred two ways. First, say what you want about political carp like Reince Priebus, John Kelly, Rex Tillerson, and the rest. Whatever their sins, they were a restraining influence on Trump’s worst excesses. But by a combination of attrition, as well as Machiavellian back stabbing, all of those restraining influences have been removed,replaced by toadying sycophants whose Tantric chant is “Let Trump be Trump,” turning him over to the tender mercies of racist Rasputin’s like Stephen Miller. Trump is now free to indulge his most base whims. Last November completed the transformation. In the 2018 midterms, the GOP lost the House, but that was actually a boon for Trump. Trump didn’t lose many Trumpaholics in safe red districts. What Trump lost were more traditional conservatives like Char;ie Dent, Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, and Carlos Curbelo, House members who didn’t even hold steerage class tickets on the SS Trumptanic. But what they did represent were a block of about 30-40 more traditional Republicans, who properly outraged, could raise their voices in […]
Donald Trump congratulated himself Saturday on strong economic indicators continuing, which he believes will handily carry him into a second term of office. Our Country is the envy of the World. Thank you, Mr. President! https://t.co/2h8mvu16YX — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 6, 2019 You may recall Larry Kudlow admitting to Chris Wallace on Fox […]
I am Princess hear me scream, at every worker I demean, as I scowl at every peasant in the la-A-and I am Princess Ivanka Trump *Warning! This article is rated MF-17 by the Moron Factor Child Protection Board. This article contains radioactive levels of sarcasm aimed at various arrogant and morally bankrupt public figures. Those with a low tolerance for sarcasm should avoid viewing this article, especially if young children are present, since sudden, unexplained fits of giggling may may lower their children’s opinion of them* Yesterday, my rather brilliant, and intrepid fellow Politizoom reporter Jason Miciak, put out an article that filled me with fear for the upcoming 2020 election. In the article, Jason advised that the formidable Jarvanka, Jared Kushner and Ivanka Trump, are lending their considerable talents to Donald Trump’s 2020 ereelection campaign. This could completely reshape the Democrats chances of winning the White House in 2020. A simple look at the resumes of these strategic giants should be cause for concern among Democrats everywhere. Let’s start with Ivanka Trump. Her pedigree is impeccable. As the daughter of Donald Trump, she has unlimited access to large amounts of highly questionable and highly leveraged wealth with which to make her every dream come true. She is a fierce advocate for women and children’s rights, which she has fought for tirelessly in her international businesses, keeping the women and children in her factories locked up 24/7 where their bosses can keep an eye on them. And her personal sensitivity is legendary, having once mistaken the headmistress at an exclusive pre-k school she was considering enrolling her children in for “the help,” since the poor woman wasn’t clad in Ivanka’s shoddy line of togs. In Jared Kushner, Ivanka has found her only business and emotional equal. Jared’s personal pedigree is also impressive. He is the son of a man who actually set his own brother-in-law up with a hooker, filmed the encounter, and narced out said brother-in-law to his own sister, all over a lousy business dispute. Jared has the vaunted Trump “Midas Touch,” having spent an exorbitant amount of money on a Manhattan building that wasn’t actually worth the franchise fee to open a McDonald’s in Ames, Iowa. And his international business acumen is burnished by the fact that he has made what, like 17 trips to the Middle East now, and he still thinks that a falafal is something that you use to wash yourself with in the shower? As a political team, these two are the ultimate dynamo, They make guys like Stuart Stevens, Steve Schmidt, and David Plouffe look like Moe, Larry, and Curly. Ivanka has political experience going back to her childhood, when she watched an endless line of politicians slink onto her fathers office to kiss his portly orange ass for a campaign contribution. And Jared has first hand experience in knowing how sneaky and unethical politicians can be, from watching Chris Christie send his father off on an all expenses paid vacation to Club Fed. Their political resume is impressive. Jared and Ivanka are so good that they literally could get a Cabbage Patch doll elected President. After all, Donald Trump is sitting in the Oval Office. The prosecution rests. They advocated with all of their might to have the somewhat gauche Corey Lewandowski replaced with […]
Russian Oligarch Bought Company That Controls Voter Registration System and Database. Smoking Gun, Much?
Charlie Pierce introduced this topic better than I can: There is simply no way to argue that the 2016 presidential election was a legitimate exercise in democratic self-government. There are too many bread crumbs leading in the same direction, somewhere north of the Vodootvodny Canal. If it wasn’t rigged, and I am entirely agnostic on that point, it was certainly vandalized to the point of uselessness, and all the vandalism was directed at one specific end: to make sure Donald J. Trump was elected President of the United States. And we are now coming up on another presidential election with the 2016 election still lying on the slab, its autopsy unfinished and its cause of death not entirely determined. Against that backdrop, Pierce directs us to an article from last year, showing that Russian oligarch, Vladimir Potanin, owns AltPoint Capital and they have a financial interest in ByteGrid, a vendor which handles the State of Maryland voter registration database and candidate management operations. Maryland’s two Democratic senators got right on it. Roll Call: “As the Rules Committee prepares to mark up the Secure Elections Act, we respectfully request that you sponsor an amendment requiring that an election infrastructure vendor submit a report to the Chair of the [Election Assistance Commission] and the Secretary of [the Department of Homeland Security] identifying any foreign national that directly or indirectly owns or controls the vendor, as well as any material change in ownership resulting in ownership or control by a foreign national,” Cardin and Van Hollen wrote Monday. “We also recently asked Treasury Secretary [Steven] Mnuchin to review the acquisition of ByteGrid in his role as Chairman of the Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States,” the Maryland Democrats wrote. “While we are hopeful that the Treasury Department’s review will be able to provide additional information about this specific transaction, we are concerned about the implications of this case for elections across the country.” “Currently, CFIUS is authorized to review foreign investments in U.S. companies that result in foreign control of the company. If an investment poses a threat to national security, it can be blocked,” the senators wrote in the letter to Mnuchin. “If either AltPoint Capital or ByteGrid did not file a notice with CFIUS, the Committee has the ability to look back at any completed transaction that results in control and threatens national security and take steps to address the national security threat, including requiring divestment.” It goes without saying that if the Russians just walk in here and buy up the firms that control our voter registration databases and other functions of our elections, that is something that sounds a note of concern; actually more of a cry of outrage and justifiably so. Here’s a link to the Senate Intelligence Committee on the “Russian Active Measures Campaign and Interference in the 2016 Election” report and here’s Pierce’s synopsis of same. The Senate Select Committee on Intelligence dropped the first of the reports stemming from its nearly three-years long investigation into the Russian “active measures” as regards the 2016 presidential election. There will be others, but this one was quite enough. There were some astounding conclusions; for example, the report indicates that Russian ratfckers were prepared to raise holy hell all over social media if Hillary Rodham Clinton had won the election. […]