Tuesday, June 2, 2020
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The Worst Response Possible. Here Come Those “Unintended Consequences” Again

Sweet Jesus, can’t I leave you guys alone for 5 little minutes? I unplug the set at 2 pm on Wednesday to start our move, get it back on the job at 5:30 today, and in the intervening 5 days everything goes to hell in a hand basket? I am going to maintain a very narrow focus on this, because there is just so much that I don’t understand, and can’t comprehend and connect the dots to yet, and I don’t want to make a horses ass out of myself. But just with what I saw today, there is a huge red light flashing in front of my eyes right now. Even with just a sketchy grasp of the facts, it is no wonder to me that El Pendejo Presidente is thumping his flabby chest and swinging his little mushroom dick again. After all, right now he’s getting his ass kicked by Joe Biden, he’s getting his ass kicked by the coronavirus, and he’s getting his ass kicked by the economy and unemployment. And what does Trumpenstein do every time he’s confronted with uncomfortable truths? Go for a distraction of course! And the civil unrest following yet another ham handed death of an unarmed black man at the hands of white police is the mother of all distractions. But because Trump has no more sense than teats on a boar hog, he’s going to fuck this up too, and with potentially tragic consequences. Trump wants, as I understand it, to use an 1807 law to bypass posse comitatus, and send thousands of heavily armed active duty US military forces into US cities to help to protect peoples 2nd amendment rights? I’m not sure that that one is going to make sense even when I finish getting caught up, but whatever. But that one thing alone set alarms going off in my head, and I’m not even talking about the dreaded possibility of state national guard troops and US active duty forces facing off against each other. That’s grist for another mill. Look, the GOP has been lazy, slothful, and dismissive of their constituency since long before Trump. And when a major political party is dealing with a lower education base, with no ideas, no programs, and they tend to talk like a bunch of hyperactive 7 year old’s who got into the pot brownies, they have to use more subtle tactics. And one of the things that the GOP has stooped to is to cater almost exclusively to their base’s rampant paranoia. And one of the things that they have hammered home most mercilessly to their addle brained acolytes is that the government is your enemy! Every time that the Democrats start to make any kind of a serious attempt at controlling anything, the GOP starts screaming about the Democrats trying to squash the peoples rights, especially their 2nd amendment rights! They mutter darkly about black helicopters with silenced rotors, and black Chevy suburbans screaming up to the curb to run in to take away your guns! And the sheeple lap this shit up like kittens with a pint of cream. And now Trump wants to send thousands of heavily armed troops into the streets of American cities to restore law and order. Don’t they get it? And I’m not just talking about Traitor Tot, I’m talking about the GOP writ large. There is an entire fucking cottage industry that has sprung up around GOP […]
CNN / YouTube Did Hillary Clinton lie to Congress...

You Have A Congresscritter. USE THEM!

Hola my padawan learners! I’m going to impart a brief horror story here. This horror story is going to sound familiar to a whole lot of you good and gentle readers, if not the precise situation itself, then the similarities to a situation you might personally be going through right now. And at the end is a possible fix for your conundrum. Y’all know that Teri is on furlough. She filed her claim with unemployment online on March 31st. Six days later, she got an envelope in the mail with her BofA debit card from the unemployment office, for her use once she started receiving payments. The next week she filed her first weekly claim online. Wow! Think of it, a government program that actually works as designed, what a concept! Except not. The last thing we heard from unemployment was getting that debit card. It is now three pay cycles later, and not a penny has been deposited in the account. Not only that, but we have received no communication regarding any issues with her account. So much for efficient governmental processing. Last Friday we started calling then directly to the unemployment office to try to resolve the situation. Since Friday, we have logged a combined 8000 attempts to talk to someone, without even being able to get into a hold queue for a representative. It’s always either a “all circuits busy” signal, or a “your call cannot be completed at this time.” Kind of hard to correct a problem without making contact. Today, out of desperation, I called the district office for my representative, Dina Titus. The staffer who answered the phone was polite, energetic, and helpful. She advised me that as of last week, their offices had begun actively assisting constituents with there unemployment issues. Teri gave her the necessary information, and she assured us that they would call us back with either a resolution, or more information. It was that simple. The title of this article says it all. With the disruption of the pandemic, people are running into roadblocks for all kinds of things. And because of the crushing influx of contacts due to the conditions, both state and federal response systems are being overwhelmed. But you know who’s not being overwhelmed right now? Your duly elected member of congress. At its base, this is exactly what your MOC is there for. You elected these ballot mice to look after your interests, and now you need help. And you’ll get action too. This isn’t an “opinion” call, where you’re just making your voice heard to your representative, this is a call for action. And what is a United States Representative if not a customer service agent for their constituents? People have friends, neighbors, family and colleagues. And if they don’t get a respectful response from their congressional office when they have a legitimate problem, their representative may be updating their resume come next November. That’s my advice to you all. Lots of people have lots of problems right now, brought on by the coronavirus, and most likely they will be state based problems. But you have a US House member, and they can force action at the state level if you just turn the loose! Try solving the problem through the normal, accepted channels, but if you end up banging your head against […]
WatchMojo.com / YouTube Top 10 Most Ridiculous Donald Trump...

Today In Trumptopia. Putting The CON In CorONavirus

Did you ever notice how anybody who drives slower than you is an idiot, while anybod who drives faster than you is a maniac?   George Carlin When you look at all of the truly insane shit that Trump pulls every day, if you want to stay properly grounded, it’s important to remember Trump’s chosen career path, real estate. Let’s say you want to build a house. The county assessor values the property at $60,000, and it costs $40,000 to build the house. Moron logic tells us that this is a $100,000 piece of property. Enter Don The Con, whose job it is to convince you that that house is actually worth $225,000. You can see Trump’s real estate chops in every thing he does, especially concerning the coronavirus. When pressed, if Trump doesn’t like the numbers, he simply pulls new numbers out of his ass, tosses them out there, and intones waddaya got to lose? Even using the best possible practices to calculate, it is widely accepted that both the infection numbers, as well as the death toll are being woefully under reported. But even those numbers are too painfully high for Trump, his White House is getting ready to go to war on those numbers, claiming that greedy hospital who are padding their coronavirus numbers  in order to get paid by Medicare?!? Trump regularly makes up mystery dates for some magic vaccine to swoop in and save the day, and personally takes a dangerous drug that he has touted as a miracle cure. But I think that this one might just take the cake. Several weeks ago, at the height of the PPE shortage crisis, Trump almost peed his pants behind the press room podium as he touted a miracle machine that would make mask shortages a thing of the past. Made by a small company in Ohio, you simply hung used masks on racks, sprayed them down with the wonder solution in the gun, and viola! the masks could be reused 80 times, with Trump kicking up the ante by bragging up to 100 times each. And if you act today, we’ll double your order for free, just pay a separate handling charge. Trump bragged from the podium that the government had purchased 60 of these machines, and was sending them to hospitals and clinics around the country, with more soon to follow. But, Trump being Trump, here comes the con, and it’s a doozy. It turns out that both Trump and the small company in Ohio were full of shit. As, the machines functioned properly, and the spray contained therein did properly disinfect the masks and make them reusable again. But not for any 80-100 additional uses. Hospitals and clinics noted that after 2-4 treatments, the paper on the masks started to deteriorate, making them useless. So much for another miracle fix. But again, because it’s Trump, there’s even more to this sordid saga. It turns out that the Ohio company had been trying for months to get an FDA waiver to sell the machine, but could only obtain a limited waiver from the FDA, mainly because Dr Rick Bright was suspicious of the company’s claims. If that name sounds familiar, it should, Trump recently bounced him from his position for shitting all over Trump’s miracle cure. But never fear, corruption to the rescue! A company exec got into somebody’s ear, and that somebody got into Peter Navarro’s ear, […]
Gage Skidmore / Flickr trump pence...

The Ultimate Humiliation?

Just think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are even stupider than that!   George Carlin I just started thinking about this recently, in the last day or so, brought on by an almost flyby news report, and it’s reaching the point where I’m starting to worry about having nocturnal emissions. But the way I look at is that, hell, if I tell all of you about it, then maybe I won’t be the only one making a mess of the sheets. I’ve already covered in depth a lot of the various complexities in the vast chasm of difference between the way that GOP states are going about their designs for a grand reopening of their states, which basically amounts to Fuck it, let’s give it a shot, and the way that the Democratic governors are approaching reopening their states, which basically amounts to, We’ve done good so far, let’s not fuck it up now. But tucked in there is an incredibly fascinating subplot, and depending on how it actually plays out, it could turn out to be an absolutely monumental cluster fuck for the GOP, and the source of endless mirth and merriment for the rest of us. Let me explain. Joe Biden is the presumptive Democratic nominee for President. Being Democrats, and therefore actually interested in the health and well being of not only their voters, but all citizens, and understanding fully the complexities that the coronavirus will bring to the 2020 campaign, the Democrats are already well along in their planning to execute a virtual convention for safety’s sake. El Pendejo Presidente has already snidely attacked the Democrats for being total wusses on Twitter. Business as usual. But the GOP, solely at Trump’s direction and insistence, is locked into a different path. Trump has mandated that red states immediately reopen for business for one reason and one reason only. And that reason is that Emperor Gluteus Maximus poor, frail, shattered ego cannot go another day without the sugar high of 15,000 drooling retards screaming and licking their nuts while IL Douche bellows word salad at them from behind a podium on a stage somewhere. And the crown jewel of this national insanity is scheduled to be the Republican National Convention, to be held in Charlotte. North Carolina. But here’s where the wicket gets sticky. It turns out that there are actually some cooler, sane heads in Charlotte, and they’re starting to have a little buyers remorse.  The numbers in North Carolina are not where they would like them to be, and in a state with considerable coastal beaches, this rush to reopen is going to increase the risk brought about by a collapse in social distancing and the public wearing of masks. This is not a comfortable position for either the state of North Carolina, nor the city of Charlotte to be in. Let’s just say that the projection I’ve been putting forward comes to fruition, mainly that the states that reopened the earliest and hardest by Memorial Day weekend get absolutely hammered in the last two weeks of June. Confirmed cases, hospitalizations, and deaths are all on the rise. And just think, the 4th of July is only a week or two away, and how the hell are you going to pull the plug on that? Allowing the normal gestation period, you’re now talking about a new, possibly […]
MSNBC / YouTube Donald Trump Had A Terrible Horrible...

The Banana Republic Of Trump

People keep telling me that I can’t complain about politics because I don’t vote. I tell ’em, Fuck You! I’m the only one who can complain since I didn’t help to put the asshole in there!   George Carlin I like to think that my readers are more than savvy enough to understand why one of my favorite monikers for Donald Trump is El Pendejo Presidente. Since the earliest days of his reign, His Lowness has sought to model his own governance and management style after such world renowned scumbags as Duterte in the Philippines, MBS in Saudi Arabia, Kim Hong Un of North Korea, and his overlord, Vlad the Imp. As if it weren’t bad enough that there can even be comparisons, worse yet is the fact that the comparisons themselves are so blatantly obvious and transparent. His rabid insistence that his power is absolute. His creation of a shadow class of oligarchs, on whom all blessings are bestowed. His rapacious self profit at the expense of the nation and its citizens. His utter contempt for legal and constitutional restraints. They’re all right there, and as plan as the nose on your face. But in order to become a true banana republic despot, there are two more, and more heinous comparisons that have to be made. And once again Traitor Tot passes with flying colors. In older Mexican ballads and folk songs, there is a recurring theme, Life is cheap. And at that time, and in those places, it was. Talk about rats in a trap. If the banditos don’t get you, then the federales damn sure will. Starting with KKKeebler The Elf, and continuing up to today, the Trump Justice Department record on human and civil rights has been nothing short of atrocious. How many times have we read or heard about US citizen, with valid US passports, being held in detention for days simply because they were Mexican or Muslim. DHS and CBP have turned Sheriff Joe’s horrific stop-and frisk program into a national pastime where brown people are concerned. Reported hate crimes against Hispanics and Muslims are up, and even among the Chinese since Trump started blaming China for the coronavirus. U’m pretty sure that hate crimes against African Americans are up too, but unfortunately the DOJ doesn’t track the peckerwoods and rednecks as domestic terrorists.Meanwhile, if you wear a fucking MAGA hat, you can walk around scaring the shit out of everybody else with an AR-15 slung over your shoulder. But just as bad, if not even worse is Trump’s clear, implicitly stated disregard for the health and safety of his own citizens. Trump’s flat out refusal to even admit that the coronavirus was a national health crisis. His personal refusal to use his legitimate authority to marshal the might of the United States to manufacture and procure the necessary items to protect the citizens. And his irresponsible, cavalier attitude in recommending dangerous, unproven medication as as a miracle cure all. But just as egregious is Trump’s stated intention to use his office and federal resources to attempt to manipulate the 2020 election. It has already been reported that Trump is telling McConnell that he doesn’t want there to be any more direct relief to citizens in any upcoming stimulus bills. His first bone to pick is that he doesn’t think that anybody should get a single penny more in unemployment or government assistance than the value of their full […]

GOP: “All hail King Trump!”

It takes a big man to stand up to his enemies, and a bigger one to stand up to his friends   Albus Dumbledore Well, that’s like, a total bummer, man. Here I was, all ready to settle in for some cheap post holiday entertainment in 2020, circa 2016, GOP eyeball gouging and groin kneeing between Donald Trump, Joe Walsh, Mark Sanford, and William Weld. But it appears now that this will be just one more in a long line of unfulfilled fantasies in my life. This injustice will not stand, man. The Dude will not abide! According to new reporting in Politico, in meetings later this week, four states, South Carolina, Kansas, Nevada, and Arizona will finalize plans to entirely scrap any plans for presidential GOP primaries in those states, handing the state delegates to Trump by default, and making any serious primary challenge to his renomination even more remote. Trump advisers are quick to point out that the party of incumbent presidents regularly forego the primary process for renomination, but what they kind of sweep under the rug is that it normally occurs when the incumbent president isn’t facing any declared opposition. If you look closely, you may notice a kind of a common thread there. In 2018, South Carolina elected a Democrat to congress when a Trumpista defeated incumbent Mark Sanford in the primary. Arizona, which Trump narrowly won, elected a Democrat to fill Jeff Flake’s vacant seat. Nevada gave the Denver boot to GOP incumbent Dean Heller in 2018 and Kansas elected a Democratic Governor as well as a Native American, lesbian, MMA fighter to congress, flipping a seat long held by the GOP. All of these are states in which Trump may have been expected to show possible weakness in a primary battle. Now, to be sure, it is the individual states, and not the RNC that controls state primaries, so no outside interference by the White House can necessarily be inferred. You might remember that I recently wrote an article in which I reminded everybody that South Carolina had actually threatened to take this action just about 9 months ago, and now it appears that others are following suit. Let’s be clear here, I have trouble in conceiving that any of Trump’s challengers could pull off taking a single state in a primary, with the possible exception of Weld in New Hampshire or Massachusetts. But one can only imagine that these individual states internal polling must have shown enough weakness for Trump that the states were loath to risk embarrassing him with a challenger logging an unacceptable percentage of a primary vote. This has got to be the single most pathetic show of emotional insecurity I have ever witnessed. Sweet Jesus, Gerald Ford, who wasn’t even duly elected as President, but replaced President Sneaky when he took it on the lam, damn near ended up in a floor fight at the RNC convention in 1976 against Reagan, but he went through the process. It shows the stunning weakness of character that Donald Trump possesses, that he doesn’t even have to tell these states anything, they just instinctively know that he will be upset by any less than shining results from their state primaries, and take the necessary steps to appease his childish ego. This is a PR nightmare […]

Obama’s Buried Treasure

The current temperature at the airport is 68 degrees, which is fucking stupid, cuz I don’t know anybody who lives at the airport.   George Carlin The human memory is a funny thing. Take mine for example. God knows I can’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday, and can’t even remember my own goddamn name if I don’t sing Happy Birthday to myself in my head, but I can still rip off the entire Gilligan’s Island theme song while unconscious. I was reminded of this when I watched Rachel Maddow this evening. Rachel was talking about a memo to file that then NSA Susan Rice wrote to herself in the waning days of the Obama administration. The memo appeared in her book, and dealt with a meeting with President Barack Obama in which they were discussing the FBI’s investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election. At one point, Obama asked Comey for his best judgement as to whether or not it would be risky for the Obama administration to share any information regarding Russia in the interim between the physical change of power on January 20th. Because Comey’s reply was still classified, Rice was unable to speak to it in her book. From the day that the conversation became known, it has been a kind of fools Holy Grail for Trump and his cohorts. Paranoid lunatic that Trump is, he was dead certain that this was some kind of unholy Obama conspiracy against him, aided by the infamous deep state. The administration spent more than two years searching for details of the meeting, as well as that memo, and they finally found it. And they declassified it today. The smoking gun against the Obama administration for secretly conspiring to bring about the summary downfall of Trump’s fledgling administration? A stern reminder from Obama to Comey that the investigation proceed completely by the book, with no shadow of White House interference. Oh yeah, Comey’s best judgement regarding sharing sensitive Russian information with the incoming Trump administration basically came down to Let’s not and say that we did, since incoming NSA Michael Flynn was spending an unusual amount of time in engaging in pillow talk with Russian Ambassador Sergei Kislyak. That was the smoking gun, the windmill that Don Trumpote spent almost three years tilting against. A stern reminder from the sitting President to his FBI Director to run his investigation independently from the White House, with no fear or favor, and the stunning revelation that James Comey was deeply suspicious of Michael Flynn’s relationship with the Russian Ambassador. And here’s where my quirky but feeble memory comes in. That segment triggered a long buried memory in my cranium. Not the event itself, but the original coverage of it. And based on this memory, I’m ready to make a prediction. Since Trump seems to be hell bent to prosecute this fantasy persecution by Obama, get ready for lots more of these kinds of revelations. Here’s why I say that. I remember that during the original kerfuffle brought out by this revelation is Susan Rice’s book, it turns out that for such a dignified , measured, and honorable man, President Barack Obama was one protective, sneaky son of a gun. And that’s going to be a real problem for Trump. As it turns out, there was a very specific reason why Susan Rice wrote that particular memo to file. It seems that there was already some […]
Rob Bluey / Flickr Mitt Romney at CPAC...

Mitt Piles On, And Shows The Democrats The Way

Because members of congress have to be so scripted in everything they say to protect their jobs,it is a rare and most enjoyable thing to see one unchained. That most often occurs when one is retiring, he can speak his mind without fear of having to please either party leaders, or his or her own constituents. They take shots because they know they can with no fear of retribution. Which makes it even more enjoyable to watch a congressman or Senator go for the fences when he has no intention of retiring, daring the gods. And GOP Senator Mitt Romney of Utah is just such a man. When it comes to speaking his mind, especially against a pocket tyrant like Donald Trump, Romney hits the trifecta. First, he’s not in the 2020 cycle, so he doesn’t have the Trump anchor around his neck. Second, by the next time he does run, in 2024, Trump is a non factor, whether he’s reelected in 2020 or not. And third, Romney’s home state of Utah hates Trump’s ever loving guts, so he can get away with pretty much anything on that score. And on questioning on the Senate HELP committee today questioning the Trump coronavirus task force mucky-mucks today, Romney came out with all guns blazing. Romney’s first task of the day was taking Trump’s show Admiral to the woodshed over his rosy statements regarding the US’s coronavirus testing vs South Korea. In the Rose garden yesterday, he gushed over the fact that the United States was now doing far more testing than South Korea. Romney was having none of it. He told the admiral that his comparison wasn’t really a legitimate one, since the South Korans came out of the gate testing like bastard maniacs while Trump futzed around with fantasies of having 0 cases, and miracle cures. He went on to say that if you looked at the numbers, South Koreas testing numbers were going down, down, down, mainly because they had already tested almost their entire population, while outs were going up, up, up, because we were trying to get out from behind the 8 ball on testing. He then reminded the admiral that while the US has ore than 80,000 coronavirus deaths, the South Koreans only have a 258, which spoke volumes about the accuracy and efficacy of the two countries testing regimens. Then Romney set his sights on Dr Fauci. Romney brought up the fact that Trump had directly held former President Barack Obama for the whole mess, for not having a vaccine all ready to go for the crisis. Romney asked Fauci whether either Obama or Trump were to blame for the lack of a vaccine, to which Fauci replied no. Since this was an unknown strain of virus, it would be impossible to have a vaccine for an unknown. And another bad tempered tweet bites the dust. The very next Senator in the batters box, Alabama Democrat Doug Jones, picked up right where Romney had so graciously left off. He again brought up the comparison between the US and South Korea, reminding all and sundry that while the US has only 6 times the population of South Korea, they have 10 times the death rate, any head-to-head comparison is nothing to brag about. Each, in their own rather pointed way of questioning the witnesses, […]

Massive Blowback to Trump’s Suggestion to Guzzle Lysol, Irradiate Internal Organs

When I was a middle school teacher, I had to take several months off for spinal surgery. The doctors literally “cut my throat” in order to go in and work on my cervical vertebrae. When I returned to school, the kids asked me about the Frankenstein scar on my neck. My answer: the doctors cut my head off, put it in a pan, worked on my spine, sewed my head back on, and sent me home. The ten or fifteen seconds of stunned bemusement before someone yelped, “No, they didn’t!” were priceless. (And yes, I am a Bad Person for lying to my students. I did fess up after they called me on it, so there’s that. Also, the scar healed beautifully. Too bad, really. I loved telling people that story.) Kids are credulous and gullible, but not stupid. Most — not all, but most — Americans are the same. It didn’t take long for people to react in horror to Trump’s bizarre exhortation to inject themselves with disinfectant. (If you’re an inveterate Trump defender who believes that bad old liberal media is lying again about The Wonder That is Donald, check the link above. There’s video and everything. Of course, you won’t believe it, but I can’t help you with that.) Here’s what Doctor Trump advised the American people. The setup is a set of comments by someone with actual, functioning intelligence, DHS’s Bill Bryan, spoke about the virus not doing well in warm, humid temperatures. Bryan said, “The virus dies quickest in sunlight,” which triggered a series of speculations in what passes for Trump’s mind. So supposing we hit the body with a tremendous — whether it’s ultraviolet or just a very powerful light — and I think you said that hasn’t been checked because of the testing. And then I said, supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or some other way, and I think you said you’re going to test that, too. Why yes, Doctor Sooper Genius, I’ll shove a halogen flashlight up my ass right away. That’s do the trick. But wait, the Doctor is still in da house: I see the disinfectant that knocks it out in a minute, one minute. And is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning? As you see, it gets in the lungs, it does a tremendous number on the lungs, so it would be interesting to check that. Because, you see, it gets on the lungs, and it does a tremendous number on the lungs. So it’d be interesting to check that. So that you’re going to have to use medical doctors, but it sounds — it sounds interesting to me. Absolutely, Doctor Giggles. This is an awesome idea. I’m making a cocktail of Lysol, Clorox and Scrubbing Bubbles for myself. Maybe I’ll have it for high tea. What do your fellow megaminds think? Actually, they’re not on board. Dr. Vin Gupta warns: This notion of injecting or ingesting any type of cleansing product into the body is irresponsible and it’s dangerous. It’s a common method that people utilize when they want to kill themselves. … Any amount of bleach or isopropyl alcohol or any kind of common household cleaner is […]
AP Archive / YouTube Late night impeachment debate in US 1589304765.jpg...

Senate Staffer Warns Congress ‘Sleepwalking Toward a Gut-Wrenching, Painful Failure’ on Covid-19 Relief

A senior Democratic Senate staffer wrote in a lengthy Twitter thread Tuesday morning that he has "never been so dejected" by the state of policymaking on Capitol Hill and warned that Congress is "sleepwalking...

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