I’ve been white my whole life (and, believe me, it’s never been this embarrassing), so I understand white privilege.
As a young teenager, I got into some minor hijinks involving snowballs and cars that landed me in the back seat of a cop car for about five or 10 minutes. The cop sweated me for a while before I finally admitted my guilt, and then he drove me home to face my parents. My mom grounded me and my dad smirked—perhaps amused and maybe secretly pleased that his shy, quiet, studious milquetoast of a son had some piss and vinegar left in him. (I did, but after facing the cop it was mostly just vinegar.) But I didn’t give up my accomplices! Not yet, anyway. (Be ready for a knock at your door any day now, Mark and Larry.)
I can joke about this now precisely because of white privilege. I didn’t get wrestled to the ground, hauled downtown, Tased, beaten with nightsticks, or shot in the belly. Nor did I ever—even for a second—worry that any of those things might happen.
My white privilege is why this super-entitled Capitol insurrectionist story rings so true to me.
From The Daily Beast:
One of the rioters who stormed the Capitol on Jan. 6 is asking a federal court to let her leave the country so she can make the most of a Mexican vacation she booked prior to the insurrection. In a court filing on Monday, Jenny Cudd’s attorneys said their client ”planned and prepaid for a weekend retreat with her employees” in Riviera Maya, Mexico, later this month and would like to attend. Cudd, the owner of a Midland, Texas, flower shop, told the court that the trip is “a work-related bonding retreat for employees and their spouses.”
Oh, noes! You mean a white woman who attempted to overthrow our legitimate government and disenfranchise millions of Black, Latino, and LGBTQ voters, might not get to fly to Mexico for her company retreat? What’s happened to this country? We used to take care of our clueless, entitled white people!
Cudd, who broke into the Capitol and milled about the rotunda like a plastic figurine from one of those old ‘70s electric football games, also allegedly published a Facebook video in which she said, “We did break down the Nancy Pelosi’s office door,” and “Fuck yes, I am proud of my actions. I fucking charged the Capitol today with patriots today.”
These people claim to love the Constitution, but where the fuck in that venerable document does it say seditionists have an inalienable right to slurp tequila out of each other’s navels while subtly degrading waitstaff in sunny Riviera Maya?
They still think this is all fun and games. Many of them continue to believe Donald Trump is the legitimate president of the United States, and they’ll likely cling to this belief with near-slavish devotion until he inevitably collapses face-first into a bucket of chicken after spawning in a seedy Moscow hotel—like a particularly portly and pungent salmon who simply doesn’t have the energy to go home again.
But before that day arrives, we need to sweep these entitled dipshits off our streets.
Mexico? How about no?
”This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on author Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Trump is gone, but the righteous mocking goes on forever. Thanks to Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump, Dear Pr*sident A**clown and Dear F*cking Moron, you can purge the Trump years from your soul sans the existential dread. Only laughs from here on out.