BWAHAHAHAHAHA! God Says ‘Pi$$ On You, Trump’ Sends Thunderstorm to Smite 4th Of July Extravaganza

1485

ALAS! Where is Pat Robertson when we need him so desperately? Robertson “commanded” Hurricane Florence to stand down, when it was headed straight for his Christian Broadcast Network studios in Virginia, threatening to turn them into a pile of matchsticks. Now his good buddy Donald Trump needs the same clout with the almighty, well, with the elements in any event, and Robertson is nowhere to be found! Incredibly, he doesn’t seem to have picked up a VIP pass for tonight’s festivities in Washington, D.C. So Trump might get rained out, oh noes!

Trump will simply have to go down to the mall and do King Lear, there’s no way around it that I can see.
“Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage, blow!
You cataracts and hurricanes, spout
Till you have drenched our steeples, drowned the cocks!
You sulfurous and thought-executing fires,
Vaunt-couriers of oak-cleaving thunderbolts,
Singe my white orange head! And thou, all-shaking thunder,
Smite flat the thick rotundity o’ th’ world,
Crack nature’s molds, all germens spill at once
That make ingrateful man!”

 

This is particularly a drag that the fireworks are getting rained out, since Trump may have committed a felony by accepting a bribe from a lobbyist to put on that part of the show.

And here are some images of freedom for you. Trump wants to hide behind a fence with his VIP supporters and the plebes can hang out in another county for all he cares.

You would think that the MAGAts would have figured out by now that Trump is all about walls and fences and they’re not going to be on the right side of these barriers, ever, but I guess not.

The New Yorker:

Trump, who talks about “my generals” and “my military,” has decided to turn the normally pacific Independence Day ceremonies in the capital into a martially tinged self-branding exercise. We are watching him blow hard into the balloon of his own ego. Trump is also trying to conflate a patriotic celebration with his reëlection campaign. The White House is doling out passes to Republican donors, members of the Republican National Committee, and other supporters.

According to the Washington Post, the Pentagon leadership has reacted to the increased militarization of the Fourth by “hiding out and hoping it all blows over.” Trump, of course, has spoken for “his” generals, saying that they are, in fact, “thrilled.” He is not likely to hear any high-level public objections from the Pentagon. He has not had a Senate-confirmed Defense Secretary since James Mattis resigned, in December, when he could no longer influence or countenance Trump’s chaotic decision-making process. There are some signs of public unhappiness, however. One liberal-leaning veterans group, VoteVets, plans to give out thousands of U.S.S. John S. McCain T-shirts on the mall, the better to remind people of Trump’s vicious insults directed against the late Arizona senator, an American prisoner of war in Hanoi, and of the way White House aides tried pathetically to hide the destroyer from the President’s view during a state visit to Japan.

“My generals” and “my military” has turned into my felony and my flop.

 

Thank you to all who already support our work since we could not exist without your generosity. If you have not already, please consider supporting us on Patreon to ensure we can continue bringing you the best of independent journalism.