Brian Kilmeade is one of the few essential Fox News analysts. He has a rare gift in articulating the view of the average high school drop-out, post head-injury. Kilmeade took his keen eye and dulled brain onto Fox’s morning show “Outnumbered,” hosted by Jessica Tarlov. The blog likes Tarlov because we love an underdog, especially one with glasses, and we can think of few bigger underdogs than brunette women on Fox. Our support seems important.

Plus, Tarlov was going against Kilmeade, of which we also approve.

Tarlov accurately described the situation from Nancy Pelosi’s perspective:

“I think Nancy Pelosi was feeling a little bit of pressure here that we do get to the trial point,” Tarlov explained. “Their caucus was split on whether or not to wait those couple of weeks.”

Yeah, okay. That makes some sense. Not sure I’d use the word “pressure,” more like that there might have been differing opinions on when best to bring the matter. But, okay, yes, we agree. Pelosi had to balance several concerns, and that brings about pressure to do it right.

Kilmeade is not one to leave an accurate observation left unchallenged on Fox News. Kilmeade tried to persuade Tarlov that Pelosi was wrong to wait, because any witnesses which manage to be called would surely favor Trump, even if the witness is John Bolton.

Stop right there.

To believe what Kilmeade just said, you would have to believe that Mitch McConnell and Trump are fcking idiots, while Kilmeade is brilliant. Because both McConnell and Trump have fought to keep witnesses far away from the trial, especially Bolton, of whom Trump specifically said he would invoke executive privilege against.

Probably best to just stick to what we know. Kilmeade is a moron. Nevertheless, Kilmeade persisted:

“You talk about what’s good for Democrats, what’s good for Republicans,” Kilmeade said, “you know what’s good for the country? To turn the page. You can say Bill Clinton is impeached for life, you can say Donald Trump is impeached for life. When I think of Bill Clinton, I don’t think of impeachment.

Atta boy, Brian. Back on safe ground. “Turn the page,” meaning don’t bother having the trial, since it is just going to mean that Trump turns out like Clinton, who improved his standing. Kilmeade is just looking out for the country, warning us it’s just going to make Trump popular. It is not that Kilmeade – and most Republicans – are terrified about what a trial might bring.

Kilmeade then pointed out the Clinton left with 65% approval ratings, and had “been re-elected twice,” evidently forgetting that Clinton’s impeachment occurred in his second term, and thus had nothing to do with his election. Or Kilmeade remembered but figured Jessica wouldn’t.

She knocked him off edge, and pointedly told Kilmeade to stop talking as if being impeached is good thing for Trump, because from Trump’s perspective, it clearly is not. It took a clear spanking to get Kilmeade to stop celebrating the impeachment of Trump as yet another glorious feat accomplished by the man. Yes, drop some reality on Kilmead’s pointed head.

He hates reality.

“No!” Kilmeade replied. “John Bolton could testify and I would say to Democrats, don’t wish for it too much because he has a super PAC and he’s got a book. Do you think that he has any future in blowing up this president when Donald Trump is the most powerful Republican figure in the country?”

Let me answer that. If Bolton does indeed “blow up the president,” then it likely means that Trump is convicted and removed as president, or limps out of the trial having barely survived and weakened, as a liar and criminal. That is not someone destined to be the most “powerful Republican figure in the country” for long.

Moreover, the Super PAC and book tour will likely only get more prosperous the more Bolton dishes on Trump. How popular is a book going to be if the author gets on the stand and says; “Yeah, it’s all a hoax. It went down just like Trump said. Bye, y’all.”

I mean come on?

The Super PAC is going to come in quite handy in a post-Trump world. Believe me, having researched the subject fully, everyone loves a big fat Super PAC, everyone.

So, to believe Kilmeade, one must believe that the impeachment proceeding is going to drive Trump to a second term and approval ratings to the mid-60s, all because Bolton will have testified to Trump’s unceasing honesty and integrity, lest Bolton upset the “most powerful Republican figure …” and ruin his own Super PAC and book sales.

Not for nothing, but you did note that Kilmeade never once referenced Bolton simply answering questions truthfully, right? Kilmeade only stated that the testimony needs to be judged in the context of going against such a powerful Republican. It is all about politics and not simply answering the questions about what one heard and saw, while letting the chips fall.

Or, as I said, we can just once again affirm that Kilmeade is perfectly placed on Fox News as a reusable moron, ready to make the host look smart by answering questions wrongly. That is all good, it makes life easier for the underdog in her difficult fight for the rights of brown-haired Republican women on Fox.


Peace, y’all

Jason and on Twitter @MiciakZoom





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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.


  1. He’s the useless tool that every faux noooz program has. Why not have people like him that are so pliable to agree with all the mouth breathing knuckle dragging kult kook ade drinkers then he’s their stooge

  2. First, Nancy knew what she was doing and she didn’t feel any pressure and you morons don’t even know what she was after even though right in front of you. She got the conversation started that got Bolton out of the woods and she got republicans admitting they don’t want no part of a rubber stamp acquittal. They want at least a pretense of a normal trial. Then when he gets off he will have had a real trial. But personally I wouldn’t bet on not guilty myself.

  3. Had to stop for a minute. Now, second, John Bolton could care less who the hell trump thinks he is. Yeah he’s got a book. And he’s got a super pac. Trump is a punk in Bolton’s world. He’s knocks him off his book sales go thru the roof. And he won’t have to have his friends buy truckloads of books to get on best sellers list. And since this cupcake don’t know. In politics especially republicans it’s the guy that knocks the most powerful that is the new king. Like they say, you can’t fix stupid!


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