Saturday, August 24, 2019

Joseph "Murfster35" Murphy

Joseph "Murfster35" Murphy is a lifelong liberal political junkie. Being born and raised in Chicago, he is no stranger to bare-knuckle politics. He spent 20 years working for United Airlines, and another 9 as a fraud prevention expert for a large online retailer. He is the author of President Evil: The rise of Trump in the 2016 primaries and its sequel President Evil II: A Clodwork Orange. Murfster35 is a top recommended writer on the blog Daily Kos.
MSNBC / YouTube Donald Trump Had A Terrible Horrible...

It’s not US for once! How cool is that?

I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord   Phil Collins As much as I try to listen to almost every Trump shill that befouls the oxygen at CNN and MSNBC, usually because they say such magnificent things to ridicule, I do have my standards. I refuse to let KellyAnne Con-Way emanate from my television, mainly because it’s so hard to get the smell of bullshit out of the speakers. And GOP strategist Amy Tarkanian is another one I cannot tolerate. After all, when your corrupt slob of a husband is a lifetime 0-7 in running for public office as a Republican, how great of a strategist can you be fer Crissakes?!? But alas, this particular time, I was stuck in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I couldn’t get to the remote to change the channel without having to dry my hands, so I gritted my teeth. But I’m actually glad that fate intervened. The guest before her was a Democratic congresswoman, I can’t recall which one, and she was dumping shit all over Trump’s head for his virulent racism, and it being a root cause for the buckethead protest in Portland. Kendis asked Tark the Snark for her response. She said something very akin to; “I heard that, and I’m extremely disappointed that the congresswoman wasted her precious time on the air with this scurrilous attack on the good name and reputation of our president.” And I thought to myself, Holy shit! Disappointment? From Amy Tarkanian?!? If you’ve never seen her in action, Blamey Amy is one of the most aggressive, arrogant, vindictive shills on the Trump roster. Outrage is in her vocabulary, not disappointment. And then it hit me. The Seven Stages Of Grief. As a Democrat, how many times in the past have you heard that goddamned phrase, applied to Democrats? Jesus, after 2016, I got so sick of it that I was ready to visit some of on the loved ones of the talking heads that wouldn’t shut up about it! Every time that the Democrats suffer a loss, either electoral or legislative, the Republicans absolutely love to describe whatever emotion the Democrats use in their speeches or public utterances as one of the seven stages of grief. Mainly that the Democrats are a bunch of whiner bags, working their way through the sorrow of yet another loss to a superior foe. But it’s not us this time, it’s the freakin’ Republicans! They dallied with it a little bit after last November, but tried to keep it under the bushel basket. But now, between the polling that shows His Lowness within the margin of error against Scooby Doo, and especially since both the Democrats, as well as the media started using the words racist, and white supremacist to describe President Bone Spurs on a regular basis, they have gone in for a full body immersion on the seven stages. First it was outrage. The Republicans, especially Yertl McTurtle, were blue with outrage every time that anybody dared to even suggest that Der Gropinfuror threw his right arm in the air every time he looked into a mirror. And now they’re all the way down the list to regret and disappointment. Moscow Mitch, now widely seen as Putin’s personal butt plug when Trump has the day off, took to the well of the Senate to hollowly whine about how he regretted the insult to his […]

Does this make me a conspiracy theorist?

Well, it’s a sunny Saturday, so of course the guys in the brown shirts with the sauerbraten stains dribbling down the front, and the male bed sheet runway models with the pointy hats are wandering around downtown Portland like a bunch of retarded lemmings. Hell, why not? The welfare checks deposited yesterday, so they can afford a bus ride. But something is different this time. You don’t have to be able to read a Ph.D. thesis on nuclear dynamics to know that Der Gropinfuror is in trouble. Forget the economy, hell, even Fox News latest poll shows him within the margin of error when pitted against Norm from Cheers. Hair Twitler is getting a bucket of shit dumped on his head from everybody to the left of the guy who used to buff Mussolini’s bald pate. And why? Because they’re saying that the greatest president in the history of the United States is just like them! He’s a filthy, racist, goosestepping white supremacist! This is intolerable! Portland has always been a popular place for west coast losers wearing BDSM boots and carrying crops, and losers clad in California Kings to go and stir up trouble. Mainly because it’s easily accessible, and has a younger, more progressive population that they know they can get a rise out of. But here’s what’s different this time. Cast your mind back to the murderous tragedy of Charlottesville two years ago. That rally was planned and advertised weeks in advance. The organizers went through the normal steps of petitioning for, and being granted permits for assembly in particular locations. It was all very sane, normal, and aboveboard, until the event actually kicked off. I have two daughters who live with their hubbies in Portland, so I keep an eye out for news from there. Personally, I love Portland, it’s a fun, quirky city with a unique personality. But if memory serves e correctly, at least the last two white subpremacist rallies held there followed the Charlottesville model. Meaning that they were organized and promoted weeks in advance, and permits applied for and duly granted. But not this time. MSNBC reporting of a couple of hours ago stated that blocks of cops keeping the two groups separated were shouting through bullhorns that these were unauthorized assemblies, and as such were against the law, and the groups had better disperse, or risk a guest appearance on Lockup: Raw. And if this is true of both sides, then there is only one conclusion that I can draw. The goose stepping goobers, and the tiki torch twits feel that their Glorious Furor is being threatened. With Trump being pilloried for being something that they themselves are oh, so proud of, along with the growing realization that there are actually impeachment hearings under way, they are starting to feel that their Imperial Grand Wizard and Brownshirt Grande may actually be in jeopardy. They are coming together, s spontaneously as they can gather in large numbers, to defend their leader, and the niceties of permits be damned. They are aiming for a show of muscle, solidarity, and support. And of course, it will ultimately backfire on these hopeless morons. By rallying to Trump’s support and succor, they only confirm what everybody else is saying, that the sitting President of the United States is a virulent racist, and unfit for duty. And to be sure, being so fucking stupid […]

“Pride goeth before a fall.” And Trump’s laces are untied.

With the exceptions of MSNBC and CNN, I don’t watch traditional “network” television, but even I’m passingly aware of a television show on CNBC, with a bunch of passably photogenic, moderately coherent venture capitalists giving sad sacks who come with their hands out a ration of shit. It’s called “The Shark Tank.” If CNBC ever makes a show like that about being an aide or staffer in the Trump White House, they would call it “The Snake Pit.” It’s a natural. Working in the Trump White House is not a job for the faint of heart, or for those with a healthy sense of self esteem either. When you have no appreciable skills for the job, your best way to survive is to make everybody else in the joint look worse than you are. This is a Beethoven sonata to a man who has spent his entire life cultivating mistrust and double dealing in his staff to keep them from getting together and becoming strong enough to threaten him. It has long been a running joke that not only does Trump have an attention span about as long as his manhood, he refuses to read. Cartoons and jokes abound about Trump’s daily briefing materials being a series of pop-up books, and it was reported early in Trump’s presidency that there were a couple of staffers whose only job was scouring newspapers and magazines to create a fat folder every day, stuffed full of positive, glowing, ego fulfilling articles about His Lowness. Funny stuff. Well, guess what? The joke is over. It has been common knowledge that as Trump degenerates, and his poll numbers drop, aides are casting about desperately for any third world, unprofessional, unscientific poll that shows him still on top of the world. That’s just fine and ducky with me. Hell, let him stay delusional right up until poll closings on election night. He thought he was surprised when he won?!? But it’s worse than that. Because, even in the monkey house that is the Trump administration, there are still a few people left who are tethered enough to reality to see storm clouds on the horizon, and closing quickly. Even the Clueless Wonder is starting to sweat the economy, and those below him with an unobstructed view of reality are freaking out, not only at the signs of a weakening economy, but at the terrible reality that there isn’t a man-jackin’-one of them in the administration that has any kind of a plan for dealing with a recession — but they don’t even have anybody capable of forming a plan to deal with one. So, what is the clear, steely eyed plan to deal with this approaching disaster in a professional, presidential manner? The same old shit. They’re running around like media went on lunch break, scouring every newsstand and third rate website for any cribbed up, mathematically questionable figures that can make it seem like the economy is still as strong as steel, and Trump is still the world’s leading economic savant. Cuz if there’s one thing that Da Boss hates, it’s bad news. So, how do you like dem little green apples? These are your tax dollars at work folks. The number one, overriding responsibility of any presidential administration is supposed to do the best job it can in protecting the […]

Nobody is safe from Trump’s wrath. Not even his supporters! (With...

Did you ever have one of those days? One where you had promised to take the spouse to the movies, but had the shittiest day in the world, but went to the movies anyway, rather than take heat for backing out and having a shitty capstone to a shitty day? That was yesterday for Trump. In hindsight, I’m sure that he now wishes he had just said “Screw it!” and rescheduled the event. Trump was not going into his rally in Manchester, New Hampshire, last night, normally the highlight of his week, on a high note. The Democrats were calling him a card carrying, bedsheet wearing white supremacist. His beloved FOX not only aired polls showing that even his own supporters think he’s dividing the country instead of uniting it, but even showing him trailing all five of the top tier Democratic candidates, and not clearing 40% against any of them. And to top it off, journalists were reporting that his own aides are terrified of a looming “Trump recession,” and a complete inability to deal with one if it occurs. The Washington Post reported that the speech was a rambling, one hour, thirty minutes-long long train wreck. He replayed all of his greatest hits from 2016, even though Hillary isn’t running, bashed Democrats, but rambled so much that he repeated himself later in the speech, without seeming to realize that he was going over the same old ground for a second time that night. But then disaster struck, and a disaster that was eye popping even for Trump. Wow. Trump mocks a protester for purportedly being overweight. "That guy has got a serious weight problem. Go home, get some exercise," he says. — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 16, 2019 When you watch the video, you’ll clearly hear at first a scattering of boos as Trump berates the man, which then become louder. I’ve watched it three times now, and I honestly can’t determine whether the other supporters are booing the overweight supporter that Trump is humiliating, or whether they are actually booing Trump for insulting a true believer. If it’s the former, then it’s typical for a rock headed Trump crowd. But if it’s the latter, then we may have just reached a watershed moment. One can easily imagine that the mind set of a typical Trump supporter is “Insult blacks. Insult gays. Insult Muslims. Insult Democrats. Insult anybody you want, but don’t you fucking dare to insult ME!” After the moment started getting airtime, the White House released a statement that sounds like pure Trumpian bullshit to me. In the statement it says that returning to New Jersey on Air Force One, Trump actually called the man he had insulted. How in the hell he got the phone number for an anonymous supporter in a crowd is beyond me. But being Trump, of course he didn’t apologize. He simply told the man that he had never intended to insult or embarrass him, and thanked him for being a supporter. That part at least rings true. It’s going to be interesting to see if either the size, or the tenor of Trump audiences changes at future rallies in the wake of his outright insult to one of their own. Trump has long bragged that his supporters would literally take a bullet for […]
FOX 4 News - Dallas-Fort Worth / YouTube New details on Beto O ...

Don’t Miss These Late Summer Hits!

Traditionally, even in presidential years, this is the slowest time of the year for political news. Congress is on their August recess, and most vacations are over with, or just wrapping up. Parents are just finishing up last minute back-to-school shopping, or are collapsed on the couch with the little monsters safely back under somebody else’s watchful eye, and the President himself is somewhere away from the office, giving us our summer reprieve. Thus close to Labor Day, normally the summer blockbuster movie season is winding down. All of the alleged monster hits having already been released when there are more people likely to park the kids in a dark place for a couple of hours. But even in a summer movie season as bereft of really good fare as this one was, all of a sudden, there are several political thrillers that could be box office blowouts, all looking to come out around the same time. Keep an eye out for these. Escape From Mitch Mountain – Everybody thought that it was hysterical when Joe Scarborough of MSNBC seriously tagged Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell with the oh, so elegant moniker of Moscow Mitch. The cherry on the sundae was the way that the nickname drove Yertl McTurtle absolutely insane, forcing him to the floor of the Senate to piss and whine about how his oh, so honorable name and integrity were being impugned by a bunch of vicious lefties. We’re now starting to see just why McConnell went to Defcon 5 so quickly. Several newspapers, along with Rachel Maddow of MSNBC are starting to lay out a very clear timeline of Moscow Mitch’s Machiavellian interference in ensuring that sanctions against Putin aligned aluminum magnate Oleg Deripaska were lifted, despite overwhelming bipartisan support for them to stay in place. Within days, Deripaska’s company ponied up $200 million for a new aluminum plant in the most distressed part of Kentucky. This is blowing up in everybody’s faces. The Kentucky legislature is now royally pissed at the way the state’s Governor deceptively marketed the plan to the legislature in the closing hours of the session, some now claim under false pretenses. The machinations of former Senator David “The Hooker Magnet” Vitter as a go between, and a federal appeals court slot for his totally fruitcake wife are just adding fuel to the fire. This could end up leaving McConnell himself with a full omelet on his face. Deripaska’s company has already threatened that any scrutiny of the deal could cause the company to pull out. Well, the deal is now getting more scrutiny than a new strain of virus, from the media to the KY legislature. McConnell is going up against a female former marine fighter jock, with in state popularity of 32%. If this thing mushroom clouds on him, especially if Deripaska bails out leaving him holding the bag, we could see a Crying Game ending, with McConnell tearfully bitching that everybody in Washington is being mean to him, taking his shriveled old balls, and going home. The Hunt For Beto October – Normally, campaign reboots, especially this early are not a good sign for a campaign. A campaign 2.0 is normally a dead-in-the-water signal flare, and a campaign 3.0 reboot means that the bow just slid under the water. We’re now in the opening credits of Beto 3.0, […]
Fox Business / YouTube Nancy Pelosi s days in Congress...

Why do we keep making things SO complicated?

We all know that life today is complicated. Hell, we even have a strategy for dealing with it, it’s called “dumbing shit down,” trying to make complicated things easier for simple slobs like me to understand. That being said, why do the Democrats have the nasty habit of taking really simple shit and making it so much more complicated? Even the mathematical formula is absurdly simple. One deranged loner +One AR-15 with high capacity magazines + One large crowd in a confined space = BREAKING NEWS! Not only is it absurdly simple, it’s also becoming tragically commonplace. So why do Democrats insist on making it so much more complicated than that? Yesterday on MTP Daily, full time host and part time idjit Chuck Todd began a discussion on guns by asking “But can you really call it domestic terror? What if the gunman had one specific target, but more than one person got hurt?” Oooooh, a probing, insightful question. Allow me to respond in kind, Chuckles. “What fucking difference does it make?!?” Domestic means here in the US, you know, like El Paso or Dayton, and terrorism basically means scaring the living shit out of everybody in sight. What possible difference does the specific target, or lack thereof possibly make? If you cut loose with a semi automatic weapon in a crowded place in the US, that’s domestic, and it’s pretty well guaranteed to scare the living shit out of everybody, which is terrorism. Domestic terrorism, get it? Full stop. And the Democratic leaders in congress aren’t faring much better right now. Democratic Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, as well as Democratic House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, are standing around in front of cameras and microphones, solemnly demanding that Moscow Mitch pull his head out of Oleg Deripaska’s ass, and skedaddle his troops back to Washington, to vote on that 90% approval rating universal background check bill that the House passed in February. And since I didn’t get an answer from Chuckles the Clown to my last question, I have a different question for you, Madame Speaker. Why are you standing around in front of microphones and cameras in San Francisco? And why are all of the other denizens of that monkey island you supervise tramping through theme parks with their kids, or burning to a crisp on beaches in Cabo San Lucas? Forget about Moscow Mitch, why aren’t you calling your kiddies back into a special session? There’s important shit to get done right now, and you’re the ones that need to do it! Right now, banning assault style weapons has a 70% approval rating with the public. Sweet Jesus, if you put ten people around the water cooler, you can’t get 7 of them to agree on which freakin’ restaurant to go to for lunch before the 4th ballot! And banning the sale of high capacity magazines is polling at well above 60%. What are you waiting for? Get cracking! Hit your speed dial, and tell everybody to be back in DC on Monday. Call legislative assistants, and tell them to have the shortest, most concise, constitution friendly bills possible written and ready to rock-and-roll by Monday. Get ’em into committee, marked up, debated, and out of committee, by a party line vote if necessary. Get ’em on the floor, debated, and passed by next Friday, again by a party line vote if necessary, although I […]

How The Trinch Stole Christmas

Let me throw a hypothetical at you. Let’s say you work for a company, any company. It isn’t even Labor Day yet, and you’re still finishing up the shopping for the last back-to-school things for the kids. You go to work one day to find that the company’s CEO has sent out a letter to all of the employees. The letter says; “I hope everybody had a great summer vacation! Right now, our company is the greatest company in the history of the world. We have the greatest bottom line in history, and things are only going to get better. I want you all to give everybody lots of cell phones, video game consoles, electronics, and shoes for Christmas this year. Because, starting on February 15th, I’m going to have to cut everybody’s pay by 10%. Happy holidays, and keep up the good work!” Don’t laugh, because that’s basically what our Moron in Chief just did. On Monday, the stock market took a shaving cut, dropping 400 points on fears of a recession fueled by China de-valuating their currency in retaliation for Trump’s idiotic trade war. I wrote last week that His Lowness was gift wrapping a recession to wreck the retail industry by hiking tariffs timed to go into effect at the start of the holiday shopping season. It’s nice to know he reads my stuff, because on Tuesday he finally admitted that Americans actually pay these tariffs, and announced that he was delaying the tariffs until December 15th, so that people would spend oodles for the holidays. Wall street immediately breathed a sigh of relief, and stocks clawed back 470 of those 400 points. Then yesterday, two lines crossed each other on a piece of paper, and the market took an 800 point bloodletting. You see my point? It takes 6-8 weeks after imposition for tariffs to be felt by consumers. Trump’s original tariff date would have raised prices by 10% between October 20th and November 15th, right at the start of shopping season. By proudly announcing that he was delaying the tariffs on popular Christmas items until December 15th, he basically wrote my 1st paragraph letter to the American people. Enjoy Christmas, because in February I’m cutting your paycheck by 10% when you go shopping. You’re an American consumer, ask yourself this question. If you know that you’re going to take a 10% hit in the pocketbook starting in February, are you going to go out in a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid blaze of glory for Christmas, before settling down to eat box mac-n-cheese and generic hot dogs for the next year, or are you going to pull back for the holidays, and save up for that upcoming “rainy day?” Yeah, me too. For a bunch of people who are supposed to be the greatest financial minds in the world, Wall Street seems to be filled with some of the dumbest sumbitches I’ve ever seen. These people are considered as failures if they aren’t “making a phone number” (i.e. a 7 digit salary), and yet they hang on every word this bankruptcy baron says. First they spent over a year pinballing the Dow average all over hell’s half acre based on every brain dead tweet Trump shit out. Then they spent a year ignoring him like people ignoring the […]
Immigration Demonstration Documentary Film / YouTube Immigration Demonstration 2006...

This week should remind us, the fight isn’t ours alone. Democracy...

These are dark days, there’s no doubt about it. Like Sauron in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, Trump has cast his dark cloud over the entire land. Pundits, and even some Democratic presidential candidates are calling the 2020 election more than just an election, they’re casting it as the apocalyptic battle for the soul of the country. They will tell you that democracy itself is at stake. But is it really? Maybe, but if His Lowness has spread his dark, noxious cloud o’er the land, there are some pretty big patches of blue breaking through up there, enough to at least give us hope. For starters, our own 2018 midterms. The Democrats not only shook off their famous midterm apathy with their voting base, they shook off the 2016 apathy, and the rampant despondence that followed Trump’s coronation. And 2020 is looking positive so far as well. Grassroots activism is high, fund raising is healthy, recruitment for candidates seems strong, and both issue awareness, and voter intensity is high. But regardless of Trump’s anti American “America First” policy, and despite the best efforts of Rupert Murdoch and his merry band of sycophants at FOX News, we don’t live in a self contained bubble, and we never have. Only Trombies have the luxury of willful, perpetual ignorance. But if you’ve been looking outside of our own news in the last week, there have been three developments that show us not only how important it is to be an American, and a proud one at that, but how important Americs still is to the rest of the world, in spite of Trump’s desperate machinations. The first one has been going on for a while, but the other two are new. Here they are, for your consideration. The first one is immigration. Donald Trump has done everything but sign an Executive Order formally declaring war on anyone south of El Paso. Trump and his jackbooted thugs have thrown them into cages, separated parents from their children, and then sent the children off to live with strangers, with no plans or ability to reunite them with their parents. He’s made them sleep on cold concrete floors and drink from toilets. He has forced them to remain in cramped, even dangerous conditions in Mexico for weeks on end, before even beginning to fill out their asylum paperwork. Jesus, he even had his agents lob tear gas into a foreign country to try to break up a protest. And still they come. They come because they believe. They believe in America, and everything it represents. They come because no matter how much Trump vilifies them, no matter how much hatred he stirs up against them, no matter what trials and trials he puts them through, it’s still better than what they face at home. And they come because they know that America is more than just one man, no matter how bad he may be. It’s now up to us to show them that their trust and belief was not misplaced. The second, more recent developments are taking place a half a world away, in President Bone spur’s favorite playpen. For multiple weeks now, Moscow has been rocked by massive weekend pro democracy protests in the streets. Did you catch the operative word in that last sentence? They are having pro democracy protests in Moscow. Yeah, you […]
Wall Street Journal / YouTube Can the Democrats Ride a Blue...

Could 2020 be 2016 on steroids in the primaries?

Nam-myoho-renge-kyo   Meditation enlightenment chant Calm your mind grasshopper, there are many long miles to go until this journey is complete. Or maybe not. Seems to me that we’ve been down this road before, and it turned out to be more of a trip to the mall than a cross country trek. Back in October of 2015, two and a half months before the Iowa caucuses, I posted an article online at Daily Kos, where I predicted that the GOP nomination was Trump’s for the taking. There was no crystal ball required (sorry Marianne Williamson), it was simple math. There were 17 candidates in the GOP field, and Trump was running in the high 20’s to low 30’s, and nobody else was even in double digits. Most, if not all of the early GOP primary states were “winner take all” primaries, which meant that Trump could bank all of the primary delegates from those states with only around 32% of the vote. This would allow him to amass such a huge delegate lead that by the time the field winnowed down, he would be almost impossible to catch. That’s what happened in real time. The problem with a large, unwieldy field is that if a single candidate jumps out to a big lead in the polls, especially in early primary states, he’s halfway there. Because, when people start to drop out, it won’t be the ones closest to the front runner, it will be the ones farthest behind. And when they do drop out, their 1-2% isn’t going to help anybody above them appreciably cut into the front runners lead. And while that culling out process continues, the front runner keeps banking early primary state delegates. I am seeing the same dynamic at play so far in the 2020 Democratic primaries, but with even ore exaggerated implications. There are 24 active candidates as we speak, and well more than half of them are polling at under 4%, most of them at 1-2%. Again, the dropping out of any of these candidates, even two or three at a time are not going to help a second tier candidate to make much of a push upwards. And while in this case, there are other candidates in double digits, namely Sanders, Warren, and in some polls Harris, Biden is near or over double digit leads against them, and 1-2% isn’t going to close the gap much. There are a couple of other factors in play here that weren’t present in the GOP primaries of 2016, and they are going to work against anybody whose last name isn’t Biden. First of all is the trajectory of the primary itself. In most primaries, they are basically popularity contests to start with, between the personas of the individual candidates, as well as their positions on issues. That doesn’t seem to hold true as much this time. Persistent polling shows that the #1 issue for Democratic primary voters is finding the strongest candidate to defeat Donald Trump. As the front runner, Biden is already perceived as having the best shot at beating His Lowness, and any other candidate is going to have to prove that they’re a better option, which is going to be difficult to do unless Biden implodes on his own. And that dynamic plays into another similar aspect. Americans love a […]

An “Embarrassment of Riches”

Ah, what a time to be alive, eh? If you’re a Democrat, the old refrain is as comfortable as the chorus of “Me and my Bobby McGee.” Democrats suck in the midterms due to a depressed voter turnout caused by a lack of voter enthusiasm when there’s not a presidential candidate at the top of the ticket. Apparently, controlling the House and Senate, and their own state legislatures just aren’t as exciting as the newest products on the Home Shopping Network. And in 2016, we took it to another level, when voter apathy for the first woman president, combined with a false sense of security that it was in the bag, led us to the reign of Emperor Numbus Nuttus. There have even been rumblings in the rumpus room that is political punditry that the Democrats may have trouble in 2020 in finding a candidate that can ignite the base to match the passion of Trump’s slobbering horde of Trombies. To me, this is just another reminder that there are plenty of people out there who will try to stir up controversy, even where none exists, in their perpetual quest to make themselves sound all important and knowledgeable and stuff. Polling continues to show that the number one criteria for a Democratic candidate among Democratic primary voters is someone who can kick Trump’s pasty ass out of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, so he can begin starring in his upcoming reality show, “Orange is the new Gilt.” Voters even say that they’ll vote for a candidate with whom they disagree on fundamental issues, as long as it means that the SS Trumptanic finally gets to tour Davey Jones Locker. Democratic candidates are now uniformly bashing His Lowness instead of each other, and reporting from the Iowa State Fair seems to indicate that this is popcorn for the souls of Iowa voters. But even setting that aside, going into 2020, the Democrats are indeed suffering from the embarrassment of riches that I spoke of in the title. Trump in 2020 is like a Las Vegas buffet, there’s something for everybody in the Democratic base to turn their noses up at. If the Democrats in 2020 can’t motivate every last voter to come out and punch a hole, then we may just as well turn the party into a gigantic sewing circle, and start trying to come up with a new flag for The United Banana Republic. The racism issue speaks for itself. The Democrats did a fine job of finally coming right out and calling Trump a racist, and some even referring to him as a white supremacist. This clearly stung Trump, and he even admitted in a moment of candor that it “wasn’t helpful.” They don’t have to constantly refer to Trump as a racist, just call out and denounce the sure-to-follow racist statements Trump will make about urban cities and Latino immigrants. African Americans know that “shithole cities” are a short step from “shithole countries,” and Latinos now know that Trump has put a target on their backs. Even Puerto Ricans and Cubans in Florida, who may not normally align tightly with Mexicans and Central Americans, should be smart enough to know that the average Trump maniac doesn’t “fine tune” when it comes to the shade of brown. Hell, even Hawaiians may […]

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