Donald Trump is now back from his foreign trip. It was touch and go for that last bit there, when he was shoving other leaders and making threatening comments about how the rest of NATO owed him lunch money, and when the rest of the G7 leaders went out for a brief final stroll Trump lacked the stamina to follow, instead trailing behind in a golf cart.
Oh, and he comes home to multiple catastrophes. But don’t worry! He has a plan! Like any middlingly successful rich fart, Trump knows that the first, last and only thing a sinking company effort needs is a good, hard rearranging of the deck chairs.
While much remained fluid Saturday, the beefed-up operation could include the return of some of Trump’s more combative campaign aides, including former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski, who was fired nearly a year ago, and former deputy campaign manager David N. Bossie, who made his name in politics by investigating Bill and Hillary Clinton for two decades. Both of them have already been part of ongoing discussions about how to build a “war room,” which have been led in part by chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon.
That’s right, the White House “plan” is that the people who led them into this mess will now get more communications power, and will be backed up by people too odious to have credibly been given White House positions the first time around. Then everyone will yell even louder about fake news and the mean press and things will, finally, begin to work out.
As for the people who are not willing to be as insane as the rest of Team Trump has been chafing to be, they’re on thinner ice:
Underscoring the uncertainty of what lies ahead, some Trump associates said there have even been conversations about dispatching Priebus to serve as ambassador to Greece — his mother is of Greek descent — as a face-saving way to remove him out of the White House.
And by “face-saving” we mean humiliating. It would be humiliating. But no more humiliating than taking the job in the first place, and every idiot who signed up to ride the Team Trump wagon knew what they were getting into. The man is unstable. The man is staggeringly ignorant. The man is a supreme narcissist. The man believes everything he does is right and if bad things happen it’s the fault of whichever bastards surrounding him had the temerity to point out that bad things might happen the first time around.
White House chief of staff Reince Preibus is not the staffer most in danger, however. Press secretary Sean Spicer has been all but invisibl’d of late. Whether or not he stays on, we’ll be seeing less of him. Apparently, this is the coping mechanism the administration has come up with to further soothe the raw, ruddy ego of the idiot man-child.
Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the principal deputy press secretary, is being considered as a replacement behind the podium, and is likely to appear on camera more often in coming weeks. White House aides have also talked about having a rotating cast of staff brief the press, a group that could also include officials like National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster. Having several aides share the briefing responsibilities could help prevent Trump — who has a notoriously short attention span — from growing bored or angry with any one staffer.
Setting aside the hilarity of a sitting presidential administration planning out how to rotate staffers so that the idiot man-child does not focus his rage on any single one of them, the notion that Trump is bored by having the same face on his teevee each day is a bit much. For Christ’s sake, Spicer, either jingle some keys or get the hell offstage.
In short, expect big changes in the White House this week. Not today or tomorrow, of course, but after Trump wakes up from his post-trip nap. Eventually. He’s angry with all the disasters, he’s angry that his staff isn’t properly making all the disasters go away because he ordered them to, wonder boy Jared Kushner is now up to his armpits in the Russia investigation, he had no damn fun at all in Europe after leaving the pleasant confines of Saudi Arabia, Barack Obama made him look like an ass just by showing up nearby, and he had to be “president” for a whole solid terrible week without vacation days. Hammer’s gonna drop.