Derek Dye / Twitter trump hotel bribes...
Derek Dye / Twitter

I’ve always been pretty good at figuring shit out. Back when I could see, I was a crossword maven, and Teri and loved jigsaw puzzles. That being said, traveling the rutted shire paths of Trump’s fevered brain is tricky, mainly because it’s like navigating a telephone switchboard constructed by a 4 year old. You dial a pizza joint in Chicago, and end up talking to a Chinese hand laundry in Honolulu.

So I was rather surprised last week when I learned that Mini Nunbnuts was looking to fob off Daddum’s prized possession, the Trump Washington International Hotel on some unsuspecting schnook or other. After all, what public reporting there is showed that the Trump Washington was one of the shrinking number of Trump properties that was actually making money. Why make an 8 piece bucket out of the goose that’s laying your golden eggs?

But as they say in The X-Files, The truth is out there. Financial reporting geniuses like David Cay Johnston and David Fahrenthold have done an incredible job of using scant public knowledge available from the privately held Trump organization to show that Trump’s vaunted claims of financial solvency are pure hogwash. And in Trump’s recent history lies the key to his recent future in this case.

Fahrenthold showed that for many years, the crown jewel in Trump’s hospitality empire was his wholly owned Trump Doral International golf resort. That property was by far and away his greatest cash cow, the anchor that carried everything else on its back. That is, it was until three years ago.

What happened three years ago? Well, Trump was elected President, and harder hitting reporting than he was used to showed that he had an actual personality that made people rather associate themselves with street corner 3 card Monte dealers than him. Including the PGA tour pulling an annual tournament event from that venue. Operating profits over the last three years have declined a jaw dropping 69%, with a Trump Doral executive admitting to a Florida regulatory board that the reason was Trump’s declining name brand value.

Now, there is not the slightest hint that Trump ever even considered selling his beloved Trump Doral, but let’s look at that scenario as a business hypothetical. If Trump had gotten even an inkling that his winning the presidency would be such a disaster for Trump Doral in the long term, the time to unload it would have been pre 2017, when it boasted high favorability and a steady profit flow, right? That just makes sense.

Now, let’s look at the Trump International Washington Hotel, which, at least on its face, appears to be in a situation similar to the Trump Doral three years ago. Occupancy is high, and the place is making a steady profit. But ask yourself this simple question. Why is the Trump Washington Hotel enjoying such a Renaissance, after a sluggish start? Because it’s a brick and mortar version of a Super PAC, a way for both domestic and foreign business interests and governments to launder money right into the bottomless pockets of Glorious Bleater. That’s what all of those lawsuits in federal court are about.

Now Riddler, riddle me this. In about 372 days, the 2020 election will be upon us. Let’s just say that the results go the way any right thinking American hopes that they will, and Trump’s pasty orangutan ass is washed out of the Oval Office on a wave of revulsion. If that happens, what do you think happens to the Trump Washington’s profitability numbers?

My guess is that it plummets like a lead Hindenburg. Face it, the only reason for anyone to spend dollar one in that schlock palace of his is to use it as a conduit to try to curry access and favor with Trump the President. If Trump is voted out of office, there is no longer a single reason for anybody, foreign or domestic, to stay in his crappy hotel. And as Trump Doral shows, His Lowness’ true personality doesn’t exactly normal people wanna step up to the plate to help a brother out.

This is why Dipshit Donnie Redux is putting the Trump Washington up on the auction block. Because you can bet that somewhere in the Trump organization is a guy with an MBA from The Acorn Academy of Business who sees exactly what I see. And that is the fact that, just like one of Trump’s Atlantic City casinos, without the lure of influencing the decisions of a president to bring the suckers in, a post presidential Trump Washington Hotel will have trouble even making the mortgage payments, due to the incredible expense of the glitz that Trump put into the place when he built it.

No, no, much better to put the place up for sale now, when they can post books showing an obscenely high rate of occupancy, and a healthy cash flow in the right direction. Now all they have to do is to find some foreign chump who doesn’t quite understand the intricacies of good old fashioned US political corruption, and they’re all set. And I’m betting it’s a similar story with the books for some of the other properties the Trump organization is suddenly trying to unload. This should be interesting.

To know the future, look to the past. before the insanity of the 2020 election, relive the insanity of the 2016 GOP primary campaign, and the general election, to see how we got to where we are. Copies of  President Evil, and the sequel, President Evil II, A Clodwork Orange  are available as e-books on Amazon, at the links above. Catch up before the upcoming release of the third book in the trilogy, President Evil III: All The Presidents Fen

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  1. Selling Doral now also gives someone the opportunity to make a HUGE one-time contribution to Trump’s re-election, by paying way more than the property is actually worth.

  2. I would keep an eye on who ever puts an offer on any property that might be up for sale, you know the usual players, Russia, the saudi’s, turkey, all of the same corrupt comrades of his

  3. Time to sell the white elephant while it’s still white. Once the shit hits the fan trump stands a good chance of being indicted. Now like Nixon he could cut a deal but most if not all stateside properties would be toast. Course he might hang on to the golf course as a residence. Then again he could cut and run and end up overseas somewhere.


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