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Oh, bruddah. The actual release of the Nunes memo after the buildup is like a town holding their 4th of July spectacular with nothing but sparklers. Expecting this memo to have an earth shattering political effect would be like coming out of the theater thinking that Ed Wood’s “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” was a sure bet to snag an Oscar for best picture.I’m really glad that the Democrats hyped the shit out of this by ranting about it so much, since readintg the actual document will leave anybody who doesn’t have Rush Limbaugh’s call in number on speed dial underwhelmed.

This thing isn’t a nothingburger, it’s catsup and mustard with no meat and no bun. First of all, when you read it, you get the feeling that you’re getting a loan from a payday shack. It’s nonstop legal jargon intended to mask the fact that basically you’re getting fucked. The legal jargon is there for two reasons, one, to get the damn thing to its current whopping 3.5 page length. And two, the jargon obscures the fact that there isn’t a single coherent point being made.

But, it’s funny at the same time. It’s nice to see that the House Intelligence committee uses the same spellcheck app that the White House uses. For instance, about a third of the way down, trying to forcefully make a point, the memo refers to an issue with the “DOH.” I couldn’t figure that one out, until I reread it and actually meant “DOJ.” I get shit in the comments about my typos, but at least we don’t have to live with them as laws, and I don’t get $140K a year…Your tax dollars at work folks. But if you don’t like it, you can always move to Normay.

The memo mentions the FISA court almost as many times as it mentions the DOJ, but never even hints at any improper activity from the court. The document whacks Steele for working for Democrats, but ignores the fact that the memo was originally commissioned by a GOP outlet, and provides no proof that Steele was even aware of the change in funding, he was being paid by Fusion GPS. It also makes it appear that the Steele memo was the linchpin on which the warrant depended, even though reporting states that the average FISA warrant application is 50-60 pages in length.The diary also complains that the original application referred to Steele as “working for a named US person,” which would be Glenn Simpson, without naming him directly or naming Fusion GPS. I’m sorry, but didn’t the GOP scream bloody murder a while back about Loretta Lynch “unmasking” US citizens? Then it excoriated Steele for possibly holding a personal opinion about Trump, but didn’t provide as far as I can see the corroborating DOJ document referenced in the memo as an attachment.

Then the memo went from stupid to farcical. Breathlessly, like a third rate actress telling her informercial audience the price of her new line of miracle skin care crap, that the FBI took the extraordinary steps of first suspending, and then ultimately firing Steele for the unforgivable sin of “releasing classified information to the media.” This was an apparent reference to Steele talking to Michael Isakoff of Yahoo News about contents of the dossier. It’s also apparent bullshit. How do you manage to suspend and/or fire somebody who doesn’t work for you? You can stop using him as a source, and you can stop returning his calls, but it’s not like you can put a shit stain on his resume or anything. Besides, what respectable employer would want to see a glowing recommendation from Trump on a resume? Kiss of death.And even if the FBI paid for Steele to continue for a while, I’m betting they paid Fusion GPS, and not Steele directly, just like the GOP group did and the Clinton law firm.

Tip for the GOP Intelligence committee members, don’t try to make a logic argument when you have the linear thinking capability of a tapeworm. They slap at the DOJ for mentioning George Papadoloulos in the Carter Page application without making any proffer of coordination between the two, like this was a big no-no. Color me idiot, but I would think that if a former member of the Trump campaign was already under investigation for colluding with Russians, that might be something that the FISA court judge might like to know about. You know, to like establish a pattern and stuff. Just goes to show how stupid I can be when I set my mind to it.

I can’t for the life of me figure out why Trump ever wanted this out there in the first place. He is now in an untenable situation. If he refuses to release the Democratic memo, he is hiding relevant information from the public. And if he releases the Democratic rebuttal, that 10 page document will exquisitely expose the Nunes memo for the shoddy political piece of shit that it is. His shambling Trombies will love this memo, but to everybody else who graduated kindergarten, it’ll be just one more desperate Trump attempt to smear the Mueller investigation. Good times ahead.

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