Washington Post / YouTube Trump visits North Carolina to survey...
Washington Post / YouTube

So much for my unpublished epic novel From the Standpoint of Water. You kind of stole my thunder, Trump. F you, man.

So this quote will go down in history with “Ask not what your country can do for you …” and “Four score and seven years ago …

September 19, 2018: “One of the wettest we’ve ever seen from the standpoint of water.” — Donald J. Trump

And in other news, water is wet! Oh, wait, he already said that.

How can his video tweets from the White House lawn be more nonsensical than the shit he writes at 3 a.m. on the toilet? That’s what I want to know.

But I’m glad he cleared this up. I was worried that the hurricane might be wet from the standpoint of Grape Fanta. Or maybe Oobleck.

This is like having a drunk grandfather you desperately hope doesn’t come downstairs naked while you’re having a sleepover. This is who we are now. A bunch of mortified little kids waiting for the next shoe to drop.

O Canada, please help us! Please!


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  1. Some are sicker than others!! He is standing a close second to the proverbial box of rocks in intelligence. How did he ever get this far? Next he will be telling America that he was appointed by God to rule this country right now and soon he will take his seat as the supreme ruler of the entire world. All too often he is too stupid for words. Moronus ignoramus is a very accurate descriptor of this character that now sits in the White House. May God help us all!!!


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