Sebastian Vital / Flickr donald trump jr...
Sebastian Vital / Flickr

Yeah, this new GQ Donald Trump Jr. profile is brutal.

In fact, you might come away from it feeling a little sorry for Boy Idiot … until you remember he’s simply awful.

One eye-popping excerpt reveals that Trump Sr.’s penchant for using little kids as negotiating tools is nothing new. During his divorce from Ivana, he literally kidnapped young Don and issued his wife a demand.

Soon after that, as Trump engaged Ivana in an epic public feud, he dispatched a bodyguard to his triplex apartment with instructions to bring his elder boy down to his office. Don, still not talking to his father, descended with the bodyguard to the 28th floor, and a few minutes later, Ivana, who described all this in her book, got a phone call. It was Trump, looking for some leverage by announcing that he was going to keep Don and raise him alone.

“Okay, keep him,” Ivana said she told him. “I have two other kids to raise.”

A few minutes later—his bluff out-bluffed—Trump ordered his boy to be taken back upstairs. “Donald never had any intention of keeping his son,” Ivana wrote.

Oh, and Trump Sr. has never really thought leaving frightened babies alone is such a big deal either.

Being noticed was always something of a struggle. That evening he was born, little Don was left by his parents to the care of the hospital’s nursery. His father headed home to celebrate New Year’s Eve, while Ivana put a boa and a mink over her hospital gown and went to visit a girlfriend recovering from back surgery on another floor of the hospital.

The horrors don’t stop there, of course. While Trump was unable to secure ransom from Ivana for Don Jr. (rendering him literally worthless in his parents’ eyes), his son did prove useful to Trump Sr. at least once.

Don tells his own story about coming into the world on December 31, 1977. “I like to joke that my dad wanted to be able to claim me as a dependent on his taxes for 1977,” he once told Forbes, “so he told my mom she had to have me before midnight and, if she didn’t, he’d make her take a cab home.” (Ivana wrote about her labor being induced by doctors.)

Then again, Trump Sr. worried he’d be burdened forever by his eldest child — whether he could use him as a deduction or not.

According to his first wife, Ivana, Donald Trump was never keen on bequeathing his name to anybody. It was Ivana who wanted to call their newborn Donald junior. “You can’t do that!” Trump is quoted as saying in Ivana’s memoir, Raising Trump. “What if he’s a loser?”

Whew, thank God that didn’t happen. Really dodged a bullet there.

The entire story is horrible, and you’ll probably come away from it thinking the poor boy just needs a hug. (Sadly, lap dances from Upper East Side courtesans don’t really count.)

Clearly, this is an emotionally damaged child who’s wanted nothing more than his dad’s approval his entire life.

Those who have seen the political transformation from hunting-businessman father to the most prominent MAGA troll explain it as a simple, sporting calculation. The snarling political persona, the friend contends, is a show for an audience of one.

Aww, Don. I’m really sorry this is your life. And I’m almost sorry for calling you Derp Throat that one time.

Then again …

Yeah, okay. Never mind. Fuck that guy.



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This is a Creative Commons article. The original version of this article appeared here.


  1. He is a sociopath who enjoys inflicting whatever “pain” he suffers on wildlife…..killing for fun= sociopath


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