BipHoo Company / Flickr Roseanne Reboot Gets Extended Season amp...
BipHoo Company / Flickr

Never-Trumper Rick Wilson has never wielded his caustic Anti-Trumpista pen with greater effect  than in this hilarious spoof of the lost episodes of “Roseanne” Season II at The Daily Beast.

Proceed with caution, and with monitor spit guard affixed firmly in place, before you click over.

Rick begins by discussing the cultural significance of the half hour sit-com and it’s importance to the poor put upon consevadim psyche:

“Sure, we could worry about the desperate, fawning, oh-please-love-me need of today’s Republicans to have some celebrity, any celebrity, embrace Esoteric Trumpism. We could talk about how that led the Trump and the GOP into bed with a crank like Roseanne. We could ponder why King Stompy Foot of the Kingdom of Delicate Egos is ragetweeting apology demands to ABC.  

That would be fun, but it would be missing the big story. The big story is how the cancellation of Roseanne endangers a vital cultural window into red-state America and how the Liberal Snowflake Globalist Soros-Progressive Deep State Antifa Supersoldiers, Bilderbergers, Illuminati, and Lizard Alien Overlords who run ABC have insulted the Real America and the President of Real America.”

Before affixing his miner’s helmet and spelunking the comedic depths of the lost episodes of ABC’s thankfully disappeared tribute to economically anxious middle America.

Season 2 Episode 1 PIZZA

Dan and Roseanne go deep undercover on a secret mission to stop Hillary Clinton’s child cannibal sex slave ring hidden in an innocuous Washington pizzeria. After she and Dan are trapped by Hillary’s pantsuited minions, there’s a brief, decisive gun battle where John Podesta is killed by a random gunman who read about it on Infowars. The episode ends in a heartwarming group hug with the tens of thousands of child sex slaves held in the restaurant’s subterranean sex dungeon. Hillary escapes in her robot exoskeleton, setting up a story arc that leads us to the next episode.

S2 E2 CITRONELLA

On the hunt for Hillary, Roseanne finds herself in Charlottesville, Virginia and learns a heartwarming lesson about the economic anxiety driving American youth. It seems that Obama’s Islamofascist multicultural police state forced — forced — these white-polo-and-khaki-clad young men to engage in torchlight parades, vehicular manslaughter and racial assault. It’s sad we’ll never see the hilarious scene where Dan thinks Richard Spencer is chanting, “Juice will not replace us.” Comedy gold!  It’s a feel-good episode that really captures the way society marginalizes and victimizes white supremacists, Neo-Nazis, Pepe fanboys, pot-gutted, four-toothed Klansmen, and incel anime enthusiasts.”

Fair use necessitates I leave out a ton of classic Rick Wilson LOL inspiring take downs of the not so honorable opposition.

You should really read it all.

But…tread warily … and with due regard for your delicate electronic equipment.

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