ruperto miller / Flickr Esta es la carta a favor...
ruperto miller / Flickr

By the end of year two of the Trump presidency, the White House staff will consist of Donald, Mike Pence, and the guy who cleans and maintains Donald’s Diet Coke button. Pretty much everyone else looks to be edging towards the door.

Kirstjen Nielsen, the homeland security secretary, told colleagues she was close to resigning after President Trump berated her on Wednesday in front of the entire cabinet for what he said was her failure to adequately secure the nation’s borders, according to several current and former officials familiar with the incident.

Ms. Nielsen, who is a protégée of John F. Kelly, the White House chief of staff, has drafted a resignation letter but has not submitted it, according to two of the people. As the head of the Department of Homeland Security, Ms. Nielsen is in charge of the 20,000 border agents who work for Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Hey, it turns out that going on unstable shouting rants towards anyone in the building who can’t make the unicorns fart rainbows fast enough has a potential downside. Go figure.

Hang on, though, because there’s more. I wasn’t kidding about the unicorn farts, that is exactly what President Cokesniffles was going on about.

Mr. Trump’s anger toward Ms. Nielsen at the cabinet meeting was part of a lengthy tirade in which the president railed at his entire cabinet about what he said was their lack of progress toward sealing the country’s borders against illegal immigrants, according to one person who was present at the meeting.

What does he want? Detention camps? Execution squads? ICE is already one of the most despised government agencies in America, with mayors and governors across the country warning that they’re making communities less safe by sending more and more undocumented immigrants into the shadows—what more you want them to do, buddy?

One person familiar with the president’s blowup at the meeting said it was triggered by a discussion about why Mexico was not doing more to prevent illegal border crossings into the United States.

What a goddamn baby this man is. Oh heavens, Mexico has no interest in your stupid xenophobic rants, however can they do this to you.

Somebody burp this infantile little man and put him down for his nap, he’s having a fit again.

Liked it? Take a second to support Associate Editor on Patreon!

1 COMMENT

  1. Strange that you should mention farts (unicorn or otherwise) because over here in the UK for years we euphemistically call a fart a ‘trump’!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here