House GOP / Flickr Rep Mike Pence...
House GOP / Flickr

Yes, how convenient for Vice President Mike Pence that Vice President Mike Pence thinks this:

Vice President Pence on Thursday urged special counsel Robert S. Mueller III to bring his investigation into Russian election interference to a close, saying “it’s time to wrap it up.”

I forget how many individual Republican investigations there were into Something Something Benghazi or how long they lasted; perhaps there is a place on the internet, or a few hundred, where we could look that up. But there was more than one, and definitely more than three, and they lasted considerably longer than Generic Gerald Ford Replacement here believes we need to devote to the question of whether his own campaign conspired with agents of a foreign government to throw an American election.

“Our administration has been fully cooperating with the special counsel, and we’ll continue to,” Pence said. “What I think is that it’s been about a year since this investigation began. Our administration has provided more than a million documents. We’ve fully cooperated in it, and in the interest of the country, I think it’s time to wrap it up.”

Mike Pence is lying, of course; investigators quite pointedly want to ask Donald Trump himself a series of questions about his own actions before and after the election, and the man with the customized Diet Coke button has continued to refuse. Loudly. With a team of lawyers running interference for him at every turn. That is not cooperation; Mr. Pence needs to learn the meaning of his words before he uses him.

But it is certainly conspicuous that this is Pence’s most substantive thoughts on the subject, after Donald Trump’s lawyer was raided by the FBI and during a period of time in which multiple members of the Trump campaign team are believed to be cooperating with federal investigators but before we’ve learned just what that information they have offered up in exchange for federal leniency. It would certainly be the most convenient possible time, for Mike Pence and the rest of the Trump campaign team, for investigators to wrap up their probe and stop looking into things.

Mike Pence still has ambitions, after all, and there are only so many times Mike Pence can stare dumbfoundedly into a network camera and insist that he had absolutely no idea all these scandals were roiling around him. You say that too many times, it begins to look like you’re a bit slow on the uptake. You say it a few more times than that, people maybe even start to suspect you’re not as upstanding a fellow as the pamphlets made you out to be.

Liked it? Take a second to support Associate Editor on Patreon!


  1. Before he even gets started it’s time for this POS to STFU. I’m almost positive, he’s not as clean as he pretends. And everything in this dark cloud of lying conoving, bunch of crooks is coming to light and may they burn in hell. So MR VP f**k off.

  2. Pence looks as though he is wearing a (grey) tan suit, which surely breaks all the GOP rules for a potential president.

  3. Repugs have been circling the wagons around Trump for some time now, Pence’s decided to stick his two cents in too. He needs to keep his mouth shut. It’s not his place to call an end to the investigation. Maybe Mueller should start turning his attention to him, if he hasn’t already. Ah! Light bulb moment! Oh what joy if Mueller got something on him and made him flip on Trump. Usually, if you find one rat in a house there’s always more, this being the White House!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here