Gage Skidmore / Flickr Donald Trump...
Gage Skidmore / Flickr

Rudy Giuliani—Donald Trump attorney, Republican shill, and motivational speaker one step removed from a van by the river—made a splash on television a week ago when he and Trump agreed that Giuliani was just the guy to sit in front of Michael Cohen’s other client and let him know that Trump had, in fact, repaid Cohen for the hush money he gave Stormy Daniels. Giuliani’s statement completed the steps from Trump know nothing about the money to Trump not only knew ,but paid Cohen back for the money. Amazingly, not only did Giuliani feel like he had done a good thing in undercutting Trump’s legal standing, Donald Trump was in full agreement over a series of tweets the next day. But then the news started to get through Trump’s bubble that the story Giuliani was pedaling might bring with it a few problems. Or possibly fines and indictments.

So Trump ordered up a bus from his infinite supply of supporter-crushing buses, and calmly steamed over Rudy. In an exchange with the press, Trump explained that Rudy didn’t know “the facts,” even though he and Giuliani had collaborated on the story. And that Giuliani only started “a day ago,” he though he’d been on the team for weeks.

This was followed by a series of statements from Giuliani, which managed to only further confuse the timing and intermingle Trump’s campaign and personal expenses. Day after day, each attempt to patch the tattered story only created more issues. The sequence reached it’s peak on Sunday, when Kellyanne Conway popped up on CBS to explain that when Trump told reporters on Air Force One that he didn’t know about the payment, he meant that he didn’t know about the payment when it was made … because he definitely did know about the payment later. Like that day on Air Force One. When he said he didn’t. Which was right about the same time that Giuliani proposed that Donald Trump didn’t have to obey a Grand Jury subpoena and should just take the fifth to get out of talking to the special counsel. So … perfect.

Overall, the week was simply a rousing success. Just ask Giuliani.

“I’ll give you the conclusion: We all feel pretty good that we’ve got everything kind of straightened out and we’re setting the agenda,” Giuliani, the former New York mayor who recently joined Trump’s legal team, said in an interview with The Washington Post. Giuliani said he met with the president at Trump National Golf Club in Sterling, Va., to discuss developments and legal strategy.

Everything is absolutely straightened out. If by straightened out, Giuliani means his demonstration that no one on Trump’s team can be consistent for five minutes.

Giuliani has ‘everyone’ on the ropes.

“Everybody’s reacting to us now, and I feel good about that because that’s what I came in to do,” he said.

“We’ve made a deal this weekend: He stays focused on North Korea, Iran and China, and we stay focused on the case and we’ll bother him when we have to,” Giuliani said of his meeting with Trump.

This is sure to go well. Because if there’s anything that Donald Trump does well, it’s focus on his job and not get derailed in petty personal squabbles and complaints about legal cases.

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